Bad Planning Makes This Team THE Worst of Them All

June 20th, 2015

Glory Days. Phillies fans at least have their memories.

PHILADELPHIA (Special to TSD AfterDark) In 1955, the Philadelphia Athletics, who won five World Series in the City of Brotherly Love, left the Delaware Valley for Kansas City for a thirteen-year stretch, before moving to Oakland, California before the 1968 season. They were my dad’s team. I heard many stories about his beloved A’s like Jimmie Foxx, Al Simmons, and Lefty Grove. He was heartbroken when they moved, and simply by default, he switched his allegiance to the National League cellar dwelling Phillies. Sure, he kept his eye on the Oakland A’s during their 1970s heyday, but 2,900 miles more than constitutes a long distance relationship…so, it would now have to be the Phillies.

Yep. The Phillies. Read the rest of this entry »

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South Florida Braces for Historic, Plentiful Sunshine

January 26th, 2015

Unrelenting Tranquility. South Floridans are prepared.

MIAMI (Special to TSD AfterDark) While cities like New York, Boston, and Philadelphia are gearing up for what is being called the latest “Storm of the Century” in some circles, South Floridians are going about things business as usual. Most are trying not to notice the abundant, glorious, sunshine that is brightening their lives, with a remarkable, uninterrupted string of tranquil, tropical, days and cool, pleasant evenings.

“I’m prepared,” said Parker Lavoy, of South Beach. “I’ve got my Pina Colada mix, some steaks for the grill, and some new pool toys. Granted, the day in, day out, perfect climate set against the backdrop of soothing, steel pan music can become a bit mundane, but we’ll soldier on I suppose. We’ve done it before. This is our home, and we’re not moving.”

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Demolition of Fabled Parthenon Approved to Build New Walmart

March 15th, 2014

Civilization. Move over history. Big business is coming.

ATHENS (Special to TSD AfterDark) In an effort to continue it’s international expansion, Walmart has reached a deal with the Greek government to build a 150,000 square foot location on Acropolis Hill, home of the legendary Parthenon. The exalted structure and it’s surrounding buildings will all be torn down to accommodate the facility and enough parking for 250 vehicles. Construction is set to begin this October.  Read the rest of this entry »

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Pat Metheny Pulled Over in Civic Hybrid For Playing Exquisitely Beautiful Music in 6/8

January 25th, 2014

 

Pat Out of Hell. Metheny's driving was fine, but his listening habits rocked a community.

MIAMI (Special to TSD AfterDark) Jazz and fusion guitarist, Pat Metheny was pulled over at 2:25 this afternoon moments after driving at the speed limit on Ocean Drive in South Beach.  Police claim the Grammy Award winning musician was stopped after they received numerous complaints by several teenage girls for playing “confusing, yet exquisitely beautiful chord changes over a 6/8 rhythm” over the car’s sound system. Read the rest of this entry »

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Upper Middle Class Woman Leaves 41 Year Old Husband in BMW With Windows Up

January 14th, 2014

House of Horrors. For one man, the overwhelming style and sophistication could not block out the terror.

SUNRISE, FL (Special to TSD AfterDark) Laurie Davidson, the 37 year old stay at home mother of two, decided to go shopping on Tuesday afternoon. She asked her husband Cameron to come along since she expected to be purchasing a few heavy items.

Cameron initially balked at the idea, as he was hoping to catch up on some unfinished business from his home office.  However, Laurie’s persistent pleas and promise of an afternoon romp in the hay won him over.  Read the rest of this entry »

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Steve Weingart and Renee Jones; A Musical Match

September 14th, 2013

TSD AfterDark Executive Editor, Tom Alexander is joined by the husband and wife duo of keyboardist, Steve Weingart and bassist/vocalist, Renee Jones for this radio interview.

Leaders and innovators in their own right, they’ve played with the likes of Simon Phillips, Steve Lukather, Dave Weckl, Chaka Khan, and many more. These Los Angeles based musicians talk about their earliest days, their influences and where their brand of jazz fusion/world music is going.

Part One

Part Two  

 

 

 

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50 Years Later, Man Remains in State of Confusion After Playing Musical Chairs With John Cage

March 12th, 2013

All the World's a Cage. John Cage experiments with musical chairs.

NEW YORK (Special to TSD AfterDark) Leonard Phelps, 61, a renowned sculptor and architect, still enjoys a successful career, as well as spending time with his family, shuttling between his Manhattan penthouse apartment and Long Island weekend home.  However, Phelps continues to battle nightmares from an incident that occurred fifty years ago in a 6th grade music class visited by composer and “chance” musician, John Cage, who was invited to participate in Mrs. Thelma Prescott’s musical chairs experiment.

Though Cage, who died in 1992, wrote hundreds of compositions in his long career, it is his 1952 piece entitled 4’33” (four minutes, thirty-three seconds) which consists of environmental sounds, amounting mostly to silence, which left Phelps and several other friends and classmates confused and horrified.  Read the rest of this entry »

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Turn Signals to Be Removed From All Florida Vehicles By 2015

August 27th, 2012

There is a Reason - Turn, Turn, Turn. Well, there used to be a reason.

TALLAHASSEE, FL (Special to TSD) The Florida Department of Motor Vehicles has announced that it will require all dealerships to remove factory installed turn signals by February of 2015.

“We’ve found that 97.3% of Floridians don’t used turn signals anymore, and of that 97.3%, 46% don’t know what one is.” DMV spokesperson Lamar Hennings said. “In the spirit of the devil may care, laid back lifestyle here, we decided to take a ‘what the fuck?’ attitude and eliminate the use of signals. The hope is that this will give drivers the unencumbered freedom to text while driving, swerve across four lanes of traffic to make a last second exit, and slow down to a crawl and hold up traffic for miles just to check the welfare of a guy on the side of the road on his cell phone or a rogue honeydew melon that’s fallen off the back of a pickup truck.”

Most drivers are thrilled. Read the rest of this entry »

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Remembering Dudley Moore

March 27th, 2012

It happens to nearly everyone at one time or another. Someone says you remind them of someone else. Perhaps it’s someone famous. In my case, as far back as high school I heard from several people how I reminded them of Dudley Moore. I bring this up because Moore passed away ten years ago today.  Read the rest of this entry »

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Tony Randall’s Tour de Force Performance Unearthed in Lost Odd Couple Episode: The Unger Games

March 27th, 2012

Unger Pains. Randall's legendary performance in long lost Unger Games.

LOS ANGELES (Special to TSD AfterDark) Lost in a dank, dusty warehouse in Studio City, California, a 16mm film is being restored. It was found by a night watchman on March 8th and handed over to film historian, Alfred Keller. It is believed to be the only remaining copy of an episode of The Odd Couple that was never aired. Entitled, The Unger Games, the controversial episode depicted Felix Unger (played by the late Tony Randall) tormenting his roommate Oscar (played by veteran actor Jack Klugman) with a meatball hero sandwich after Oscar lost his wallet during a night of tomfoolery with his sports writer colleagues.

A hungry Oscar returns home to an empty refrigerator and unable to purchase food. Randall’s Felix character sees the opportunity to transform the sloppy, unkempt Oscar to a refined man of elegance and cleanliness. That’s where Randall’s epic performance kicks in, and a newly seen sinister side of Felix Unger is revealed to an unsuspecting audience. Read the rest of this entry »

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