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Man Beaten Up for Milk Money at 30th High School Reunion

Wednesday, April 13th, 2011

Got Milk Money? Jerry Lawford after a bit of a thrashing.

DALLAS, PA (Special to TSD AfterDark) Jerry Lawford was really looking forward to reconnecting with old high school friends and catching up on old times at his thirtieth high school reunion. Unfortunately for him, what happened last Saturday evening will forever tarnish that memory.

Lawford, an accountant currently living in Bethesda, Maryland who graduated from Dallas Senior High School in Dallas, Pennsylvania in 1981, was enjoying some small talk with former classmates Tony Cabrese and Rusty Moorhead when he was tapped on the shoulder by reputed class bully, Bernie Conrad, currently a contractor in Dayton, Ohio. Conrad then marched Lawford into an adjacent cloak room, slammed him against the wall and demanded his milk money. (more…)

52 Year Old Man Plunges to Death After Failing to Get Justin Bieber Song Out of His Head

Friday, February 18th, 2011

Bieber Leaper. Edward Horton Stang moments before ending it all.

Bieber Leaper. Edward Horton Stang moments before ending it all.

SILVER SPRING, MD (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Edward Horton Stang, a successful insurance salesman from the Washington DC metro died Thursday afternoon after throwing himself off the top floor of the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Silver Spring, Maryland. Stang, a part time musician, enjoyed playing bass in the jazz-funk group, FunkThrusters.

Stang, who was unmarried, began experiencing psychotic episodes after a visit from his 15 year old niece, Ashley last week. The high school freshman was listening to Justin Bieber’s hit single, One Less Lonely Girl, when Stang asked her if he could “hear what all the fuss is about.” The decision proved fatal for Stang as the hook of the song kept playing over and over in his head.

Stang left a note which was obtained by TSD After Dark. The contents are as follows: (more…)

Westboro Baptist Church to Protest Leslie Nielsen’s Last Film

Thursday, January 20th, 2011

Your Assignment Mr. Phelps: To bring down this abhorrent low budget comedy.

Your Assignment Mr. Phelps: To bring down this abhorrent low budget comedy.

TOPEKA, KS (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The controversial Westboro Baptist Church, led by Fred Phelps, has announced they will picket a yet to be named video store close to church grounds because they are selling the movie, Stonerville. The film was pre-released on January 11, 2011. It will be available everywhere this week via Netflix, Blockbuster, iTunes, and Amazon as well as video stores.

Stonerville is a direct-to-DVD frat boy comedy which stars Pauly Shore, Patrick Cavanaugh and the late comedy legend Leslie Nielsen, in his last on-screen appearance. Nielsen passed away in November of 2010. (more…)

With Dinner or a Nice Cigar This Weekend – An Education on Shiraz

Friday, July 16th, 2010

Need the perfect compliment to a nice grilled steak or maybe just a good weekend cigar? Do it right with a nice Shiraz. Here’s a little backgrounder on what’s in the bottle.

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Death Doll

Friday, July 16th, 2010

A few year’s after Twilight Zone’s infamous Talking Tina and several years before the horrific Chucky, there was this – a real, honest to goodness child’s toy from Remco.  To see this thing rocking in the corner in the middle of the night just might be the thing that would permanently drive the sane over the brink.

Behold…Baby Laugh A – Lot

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Could It Work? BP to Try Plugging Hole With Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010

Oily to Rise. Gaga and Bieber will be lowered to the depths at 5:00 A.M.

Oily to Rise. Gaga and Bieber will be lowered to the depths at 5:00 A.M.

GULF COAST, FL (Special to TSD After Dark) After several failed attempts to plug the massive hole where nearly 100,000 barrels of oil is spilling into the Gulf of Mexico on a daily basis, the BP Corporation will try a radical new theory which they hope will finally seal the gaping chasm. Current pop icons Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber will be submerged to a depth of nearly 5,000 feet below the ocean surface in an attempt to cut off the flowing oil supply. (more…)

Remembering Carnac the Magnificent

Friday, December 4th, 2009

Going old school with Johnny and Ed. Sure, some of these jokes are dated, but considering gas was still not a dollar a gallon, who cares?

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Conspiracy Theorist Alex Jones Claims Santa Claus is Alive and Living in Retirement Community

Friday, December 4th, 2009

Jonesin' for the Truth. Alex Jones wants the government to know he has found Santa.

Jonesin' for the Truth. Alex Jones wants the government to know he has found Santa.

HALLANDALE, FL (Special to TSD After Dark) Alex Jones, who hosts a nationally syndicated radio program and challenges conventional wisdom on a daily basis, has blown the lid off of many so-called “truths” and exposed them as lies. But perhaps nothing has put the 35 year old radio host and filmmaker into the spotlight quite like his latest revelation. (more…)

Sobieski Vodka. After Dark Radio Chats with Imperial Brands’ Chester Brandes

Thursday, July 16th, 2009

 

Polish Vodka fit for a King. Sobieski.

Polish Vodka fit for a King. Sobieski.

Chester Brandes gives us the inside scoop on a truly great vodka. And, is shaken never stirred really best? 

Pt. 1 of interview

 

Pt. 2 of interview

The Days of TV Theme songs

Friday, June 26th, 2009

It wasn’t all that long ago.  TV shows, all of them from sit coms to dramas had theme songs.  Many were memorable. Of course, today, apparently TV execs feel we don’t have the attention span to sit through a theme song. Of course it also bites into advertising time.  

But, if you’re old to remember the game of humming theme songs in the car to make long trips go faster, you probably can sing The Brady Bunch theme word for word, or Green Acres, or can hum the M*A*S*H theme. But it was the cop shows that really had some killer music – burnin’, funky, filthy groove-oriented jams that cooked.  Ironside, Emergency!, The Mod Squad, and this…an all-time favorite. The Rookies by the great composer Elmer Bernstein. 

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