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Archive for the ‘Fashion’ Category

Could It Work? BP to Try Plugging Hole With Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010

Oily to Rise. Gaga and Bieber will be lowered to the depths at 5:00 A.M.

Oily to Rise. Gaga and Bieber will be lowered to the depths at 5:00 A.M.

GULF COAST, FL (Special to TSD After Dark) After several failed attempts to plug the massive hole where nearly 100,000 barrels of oil is spilling into the Gulf of Mexico on a daily basis, the BP Corporation will try a radical new theory which they hope will finally seal the gaping chasm. Current pop icons Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber will be submerged to a depth of nearly 5,000 feet below the ocean surface in an attempt to cut off the flowing oil supply. (more…)

32 Year Old Unemployed Man Can’t Focus on Stories Reported by Lara Logan

Friday, May 15th, 2009

 

 

This Just In.  Something Lewcun Jankauskas is hoping to tell Lara Logan.

This Just In. Something Lewcun Jankauskas is hoping to tell Lara Logan.

 

 

POUGHKEEPSIE, NY (Special to TSD After Dark) Lewcun Jankauskas, an out of work mechanical engineer, spends his time combing the classifieds online and in newspapers, and tries to keep up with breaking news.  However, he’s found the latter increasingly difficult especially when it’s reported by the leggy CBS correspondent, Lara Logan.  

“I can’t handle it,” said Jankauskas. “I mean have you ever taken a look at her? Jesus Christ almighty! The sexuality that oozes from that woman is unceasing. Those comely glares into the camera when she describes one of our fighting boys disarming a roadside bomb just puts me over the moon.  Her pursing lips and that accent – how do I say this discreetly – really gets my testicles boiling to a point where I feel I can flood the entire Mid-Hudson Valley with a raging current of my man seed.” 

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Octomom-Jolie Clash Set to Launch New League

Friday, May 8th, 2009

 

 

Holy Moly Jolie. Angelina says his Momomania could become a Mother's Day classic.

Holy Moly Jolie. Angelina says Momomania could become a Mother's Day classic.

 

 

NEW YORK,  (Special to TSD After Dark) Officials today announced the formation of the Competitive Birthing Association (aka CBA), which will pit the top competitors from the world of birthing and mothering against each other tin an attempt to determine undisputed superiority.

CBA officials also announced that their signature event each year, “Momomania” would be held on the 2nd Sunday of May each year beginning with Momomania I on May 10, 2009.

Momomania I will feature a mixed mothering match between Nadya “Octomom” Suleman and Angelina “Womb Raider” Jolie-Thornton-Pitt to take place in Madison Square Garden in a steel-caged nursery.

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