Back to Home Page

Archive for May, 2009

Cars, WWII, NASCAR and Dad

Friday, May 29th, 2009

What do World War II and my father have to do with the state of NASCAR’s future and my choices in life?  I’ll tell you what… everything!  I recently went to the 2009-2010 auto show in New York to see what my new car options are for my next purchase, let me tell you, it’s not pretty.  The next day, I turn on the tube to get some NASCAR coverage (I grew up in the shadow of Pocono Speedway), and it was pretty damn ugly there too.

Auto choices for the son-of-a-veteran

Auto choices for the son-of-a-veteran

You see, my father was a WWII veteran, actually a navigator on a B-24 Liberator, and one of the few “rules” he had for us was that we while we didn’t have to always buy Fords like he did, we did have to refrain from buying cars manufactured by an “Axis” power and buy from the “Allies.”  Seemed simple enough, after all, the U.S. and the Allies won that war and did it supported by superior manufacturing capability and capacity.  All those GM labels, Chrysler brands and Ford-Lincoln-Mercury cars plus cool imports like Land Rover, Jaguar, Mini, Peugeot, Aston Martin, etc. gave me many great choices when I first hit the car market in the 80s.  I could honor Dad’s wishes and still tool around in any of a dozen sweet rides I liked. (more…)

The Same Palm Tree? Yes. Gerofinikas of Athens

Friday, May 29th, 2009
Eat Well. And you do at Gerofinikas.

Eat Well. And you do at Gerofinikas.

In the heart of Athens’ stylish Kolonaki district sits Gerofinikas. The restaurant was established in 1957 and has served generations of patrons with top flight Greek and Mediterranean delights. What it special about the place is it was built “around” a lone palm tree that is still there. It is the focal point of the dining room.  It was there on my first trip as a kid, and it’s still there today.

I’m in Greece right now. And I’m going to Gerofinikas again for their magnificent seafood dishes.  But I’ll really have to open my wallet and let the Euros spill out because cheap it ain’t. But it’s a must on any trip to Athens.

Full review when I return.

Reorganized Taliban Inspires Emerson, Lake and Palmer Reunion

Friday, May 29th, 2009
God ELP Us!  Emerson, Lake, and Palmer feel inspired.

God ELP Us! Emerson, Lake, and Palmer feel inspired.

LONDON (Special to TSD After Dark) Generations of music fans raised on samples, loops and multi-tracked voices are turning to the epic albums of their parents’ generation for inspiration and new discoveries.  Art-Rock supergroups like Yes, Genesis, Pink Floyd, and King Crimson, seem to never go away.  One form or another of these time-tested groups continue to endure.  Now, one of the most popular of these bands – Emerson, Lake and Palmer, have decided to give it a go again.  But the inspiration for their reunion seems odd.

(more…)

Whiney 85 Year Old Woman Gets “Greatest Generation” Membership Card Revoked; Brokaw Pissed

Friday, May 22nd, 2009

 

Strip Her. That's what WW2 Vet Carl Zapski says.

Strip Her. That's what WW2 Vet Carl Zapski says.

 

 

TAMARAC, FL (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Rosemarie Larusso, an 85 year old widow who resides in Royal Point, a South Florida retirement community, was stripped of her “Greatest Generation” membership card on Wednesday for what neighbors call “incessant whining and behavior unbecoming a GG member.” (more…)

FEATURE: The Wino With the Sophisticated Palate

Friday, May 22nd, 2009

 

 

Fit for a Wino. If you just happen to be Alvin Madison.

Fit for a Wino. If you just happen to be Alvin Madison.

 

 

BROOKLYN, NY (Special to TSD After Dark) Alvin Madison got off to rough start in life.  He bounced from job to job and home to home before a cardboard box near a steam heating grate became his permanent address seven years ago. But a chance encounter miraculously transformed him from street wino to connoisseur to the stars.

Alvin had two things going for him. A photographic memory; a corner of his brain where he stored mountains of statistical information and a sophisticated palate; a talent he discovered quite by accident after he inadvertently stumbled onto the set of a live wine taste-testing program for the Discovery Channel. 

Alvin was suddenly transfixed by the bold, buttery bouquet of a California Cabernet and the more subtle, fruitier Merlots. His ability to identify vintages accurately stunned even veteran wine aficionados. (more…)

How Many Times Has This Happened to You?

Saturday, May 16th, 2009

No explanation necessary.

YouTube Preview Image

I Know. I Know. I Have to See It.

Friday, May 15th, 2009

 

Jim Beam me Scotty. It's the weekend.

Jim Beam me Scotty. It's the weekend.

 

 

BOCA RATON, FL (Special to TSD After Dark) No, I haven’t seen it. Yes, it’s my job to. Kind of. I’m mean, I don’t fancy myself a film critic, even though I guess I’m qualified as anyone considering I grew up in my dad’s movie theatre and majored in Radio, Television, and Film in college. I’ve been asked several times already.  ”Have you seen the new Star Trek?” “Are you going to see it this weekend?”  I’d like to.  But my dance card is pretty full considering I’m traveling half way around the world in a few days. 

(more…)

Twelve Year Old Boy Builds Crude Thermo-Nuclear Device in Basement; Declares War on Bully Next Door

Friday, May 15th, 2009

 

 

Put Up Your Nukes. This treehouse is part of little Brent Jewell's demands.

Put Up Your Nukes. This treehouse is part of little Brent Jewell's demands.

 

 

SHAVERTOWN, PA (Special to TSD After Dark) Brent Jewell, is not your typical bullied twelve year old. He is not plotting a Columbine-like event just because he’s felt the wrath of neighborhood ruffian Bernie Chalker a few times too often. He instead is devising a plan to seize complete control of Chalker’s bedroom, basement fort, and treehouse. 

“I have been able to stockpile a tidy bundle of highly-enriched uranium and have devoted my off hours into creating this crude albeit effective nuclear device,” Jewell said while proudly showing off the containment chamber as he gnawed on a liberal slab of Cherry Twizzlers®. “I intend to teach this theatre-seat-sniffing rapscallion a thing or two about respect. I expect by noon at Monday he will not only publicly apologize to me in front of the entire middle school student body, but cheerfully give me unlimited access to his treehouse, basement fort, and comic book and baseball card collection. I’ve also had my eye on his older sister Denise, whom I expect to give me French kissing lessons this summer down by Toby’s Creek.”

(more…)

32 Year Old Unemployed Man Can’t Focus on Stories Reported by Lara Logan

Friday, May 15th, 2009

 

 

This Just In.  Something Lewcun Jankauskas is hoping to tell Lara Logan.

This Just In. Something Lewcun Jankauskas is hoping to tell Lara Logan.

 

 

POUGHKEEPSIE, NY (Special to TSD After Dark) Lewcun Jankauskas, an out of work mechanical engineer, spends his time combing the classifieds online and in newspapers, and tries to keep up with breaking news.  However, he’s found the latter increasingly difficult especially when it’s reported by the leggy CBS correspondent, Lara Logan.  

“I can’t handle it,” said Jankauskas. “I mean have you ever taken a look at her? Jesus Christ almighty! The sexuality that oozes from that woman is unceasing. Those comely glares into the camera when she describes one of our fighting boys disarming a roadside bomb just puts me over the moon.  Her pursing lips and that accent – how do I say this discreetly – really gets my testicles boiling to a point where I feel I can flood the entire Mid-Hudson Valley with a raging current of my man seed.” 

(more…)

Talking From His Underpants

Friday, May 8th, 2009

underpants

MIAMI (Special to TSD After Dark) There is a guy who does a sports radio show.  He fancies himself to be controversial. He likes to stir it up. He’s a ratings grabber. At least that’s what I’m told.  Her used to do his show in Miami. I’m not sure where he is now.  

This guy had no idea idea (or maybe he did) how cushy he had it.  He was able to broadcast his live call-in show from his bedroom.  His bedroom folks! 

(more…)