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Archive for November, 2010

Jazz, Great American Art Form, Killed in Gangland Style Massacre; Funeral on Saturday

Wednesday, November 17th, 2010

Distant Relative, Smooth Jazz, on Respirator

Foretelling the Future? Did the band, Jazz Is Dead have inside info on yesterday's hit?

Foretelling the Future? Did the band, Jazz Is Dead have inside info on yesterday's hit?

NEW ORLEANS (TSD After Dark) Jazz, the only true American musical art form, was killed in a hail of bullets, towering indifference, and overall lack of good taste yesterday afternoon in New Orleans. Most of Jazz’s family members, including Bebop, Cool, Post Bop, Modal, Third Stream, Fusion, and Acid were also killed. Jazz was estimated to be 106 years old. Acid survived the initial attack, but later died in transit to the Musical Heritage Medical Center.

A distant relative, Smooth Jazz, barely survived the assault, and remains in critical condition in an unspecified hospital.

“Fuckin’ Smooth survived?” lamented fusion guitar great Allan Holdsworth. “I could make a really tasteless Yoko Ono reference here, but I won’t.” (more…)

Microsoft Counters Apple iTunes’ Beatles Announcement by Offering Complete Pete Best Catalogue

Tuesday, November 16th, 2010

The Pete Beat. Pete Best lays it down on the drums in 2006.

The Pete Beat. Pete Best lays it down on the drums in 2006.

REDMOND, WA (TSD After Dark) The much anticipated announcement from Apple that iTunes would finally offer The Beatles catalogue electronically has come true, delighting music fans worldwide. Now users can download the Fab Four’s singles and albums.

Not to be outdone, Microsoft countered by making a startling announcement of their own. Original Beatles drummer Pete Best’s catalogue will be available beginning in January of 2011.

“This is huge for us,” said Microsoft’s Alan Grossman. “Best was a major player in the band’s rise to fame. They practiced at his house a lot.” (more…)