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Archive for March, 2011

Classic Outtake from STONERVILLE: The Cargasm

Monday, March 14th, 2011

In our collaborative screenplay effort, STONERVILLE, which wound up being Leslie Nielsen’s final on-screen appearance, there were days on the set where we just riffed. This scene wasn’t written into the script, but was a gag we’d pull in college on unsuspecting passengers. Pat Cavanaugh and Brian Guest certainly grasped the vibe of this prank. Though it didn’t make the movie, it did appear as an outtake while the credits rolled.

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Long Dead Bishop Fulton Sheen Joins Charlie Sheen in Tiger Blood Fueled Night on the Town

Monday, March 14th, 2011

Smells Like Sheen Spirit. Bishop Fulton J. Sheen in the living years.

LOS ANGELES (Special to TSD AfterDark) The Charlie Sheen saga continues as the embattled actor went on an all night tiger blood-fueled partying spree which included spouting cryptic parables in his often imitated but never duplicated brand of Sheen-speak.

However, at approximately 3:13 AM Monday morning, Sheen, draped in a bevy of porn stars, inadvertently summoned the spirit of long deceased television pop holy man, Bishop Fulton J. Sheen. The priest reappeared for the first time since 1979, when he succumbed to heart disease. (more…)

Another Two and a Half Men Shocker: Jon Cryer Stays Home with His Family; Eats Apple Pie; Watches Disney Movie

Thursday, March 10th, 2011

I've got Hamster Blood. Now Jon Cryer is tearin' it up in Hollywood.

LOS ANGELES (Special to TSD AfterDark) In a dizzying counter punch to the Charlie Sheen tiger blood-fueled media circus, Two and a Half Men co-star Jon Cryer stunned Hollywood paparazzi last night by staying home with his family to indulge in apple pie and watch the repeated viewings of the Walt Disney classic, Old Yeller.

“It appeared as though they were all drinking milk,” said veteran picture snapper, Jean Luc Peruc. “I think some of it was whole milk. I thought I saw Jon himself actually have a second piece of pie. That kind of indulgence is taboo in a town obsessed with perfect waist lines.” (more…)

Palin’s Promise for 2012: I’ll Beef Up Border Patrol Around Easter Island

Thursday, March 3rd, 2011

Palin and Simple. Sarah tells some school children how it is.

UPPER DARBY, PA (Special to TSD AfterDark) It has become increasingly evident that Sarah Palin will run for president in 2012. She has all but announced her candidacy for the White House. On Wednesday before a group of seventh graders in Upper Darby, Pennsylvania, near Philadelphia, Palin announced that one of the first things she would do is increase security by strengthening the border patrol around the mysterious Easter Island.

The announcement drew some oohs and ahhs from a few children, but mostly looks of bewilderment, as well as two chuckles. (more…)