LOS ANGELES (Special to TSD After Dark) Actor Kiefer Sutherland is no stranger to trouble. As Jack Bauer, the lead character on FOX’s thriller drama, 24, Sutherland races against the clock regularly to save friends, family and planet.
But now Sutherland, who had a recent brush with the law after allegedly head-butting fashion designer Jack McCollough at the Mercer Hotel in SoHo, New York, has decided to put his abrasive, abusive persona to work for him.
“I’m out to set a 24 hour record and FOX is documenting the entire thing,” the 42 year old actor said. “I’m going to head-butt, ass-kick, and dick slap myself in to the annals of criminal history. Hell, I do it every week on TV. So, why not switch gears and be a badass? Bottom line is I’m a self-absorbed, self-loathing prick with a penchant for javelins and collecting my own autographs. I just need the attention.”
Sutherland’s father, the accomplished actor, Donald Sutherland has agreed to join his son on the crime spree.
“I am currently between projects,” the elder Sutherland said. “This might be fun – a learning experience of sorts, away from the hustle and bustle of eastern Quebec where I thrice daily swill gin and gaze upon the snow-covered meadow from the picture window of my study.”
“Having Dad along will be a blast,” said Keifer Sutherland. “Imagine the hell we’ll cause. Imagine seeing the Sutherland tandem walk into a drug store with our guns pointed with our malevolent, smiling faces and soulless eyes the last thing our victims see before meeting their maker. FOX is going love me for the ratings.”