OK. So it’s happened again. Three very well known people have died this week. Tuesday we learned gregarious second banana and pitchman Ed McMahon died. He’d been in failing health and he was 86, so, although sad, it’s not like it was a huge shock. Then, early Thursday it was Farrah Fawcett. (Insert your own Farrah poster jokes here). She was much younger than Ed, but again, in failing health for quite some time.
Then came the stunner – Michael Jackson. I got an alert from one of those radio trades I subscribe to. It said he was rushed to the hospital – cardiac arrest. Almost immediately after that TMZ reported he was dead. TMZ, scum suckers that they are, rarely get anything wrong. They weren’t wrong.
So, the King of Pop made up the death trifecta.
They always die in threes. Why? Has someone out there done research? Since apparently there are no original ideas or thoughts, I assume someone has. By the way, I was told there are no original ideas once in 2002. When did original thoughts end? Can someone slap a date on that? ”Uh, it’s May 3, 1991 and every original idea has been exhausted. Sorry.”
But I digress.
Dying in Threes. I’d like to know how and why? If you’re a celebrity in poor health and you hear another celebrity dies – don’t you then start shitting your pants? ”Holy fuck, I’m next!”
No one wants to be the third. It has to send shock waves around Hollywood. Celebrity X: ”Maybe I’ll just pass on going out in heavy traffic this week. Wouldn’t want to get killed and be the third. I’ll wait till next week.”
And as we contemplate the lives of the three the died this week, know this; the onslaught of media attention on Michael Jackson won’t stop. It’ll take an event on par with World War Three to knock this off the front page. The funeral. The tributes. The unauthorized biographies. The YouTube comments. The resurgence of the Moonwalk. Hunker in folks – you’re about to be inundated.
And poor Farrah never even got her own day.
If only they died in twos.