UPPER DARBY, PA (Special to TSD AfterDark) It has become increasingly evident that Sarah Palin will run for president in 2012. She has all but announced her candidacy for the White House. On Wednesday before a group of seventh graders in Upper Darby, Pennsylvania, near Philadelphia, Palin announced that one of the first things she would do is increase security by strengthening the border patrol around the mysterious Easter Island.
The announcement drew some oohs and ahhs from a few children, but mostly looks of bewilderment, as well as two chuckles.
“There’s some weird statues over there,” the 47 year old former Governor of Alaska chimed. “And you never know what sinister plan they might have in store for God’s favorite country, the good ol’ U S of America. Personally, I think they’re trying to trick us over there by saying they believe in Easter and stuff – to make us think they’re all Christian and junk. But you have to get up pretty early in the morning to fool me.”
Billy Griffin, a 13 year old student in attendance immediately raised his hand and asked “how early?”
Palin fumbled for a response but finally settled on “sometime between 3 and 4 o’clock.”
Griffin followed up with “is that Alaskan time?” He was quickly removed from the classroom by two of Palin’s handlers.
Mrs. Abigail Barnes, the social studies teacher who arranged for the Palin’s visit, politely informed the politician that Easter Island is indeed an island and therefore has no land borders to patrol, and has a population under 5,000 people.
Palin said her people would investigate those claims. Barnes was later found tied and gagged behind a nearby Acme Supermarket.
Tags: Sarah Palin