LOS ANGELES (Special to TSD AfterDark) The Charlie Sheen saga continues as the embattled actor went on an all night tiger blood-fueled partying spree which included spouting cryptic parables in his often imitated but never duplicated brand of Sheen-speak.
However, at approximately 3:13 AM Monday morning, Sheen, draped in a bevy of porn stars, inadvertently summoned the spirit of long deceased television pop holy man, Bishop Fulton J. Sheen. The priest reappeared for the first time since 1979, when he succumbed to heart disease.
“I look great after being dead for over thirty years, huh?” said Bishop Sheen materializing in flowing robes, bathed in a blue glow. “Now, what’s all the hoo hah with Chuck?”
The two Sheens engaged in a long staring contest, followed by Bishop Sheen quoting scripture and Charlie Sheen quoting lines from Being John Malkovich.
Bishop Sheen then parted a sea of hangers on and told Charlie, “One of us is dead. And I think it’s you.”
Bishop Sheen then agreed to hear Charlie’s confession instructing him to say 25,423 Hail Mary’s and dye 10,000 Easter eggs.
Afterwards, the two ordered several Double-Doubles® from In ‘N Out Burger.