NEW YORK (Special to TSD AfterDark) With the death of terrorist, Osama bin Laden reported late last night, celebrations broke out worldwide. But it’s a bittersweet moment for stand up comic Tommy Sharples, the “Where’s bin Laden?” guy. Sharples will need to change his act – fast. With the death of bin Laden, Sharples, whose career has been marked by disappointment, failure, overeating, and bouts of drug abuse, only to be interrupted by long periods of inactivity and more drug abuse, might be through permanently.
Sharples, who only Saturday morning played the back room of the Key City Diner in Phillipsburg, New Jersey to a group of retired farm equipment salesmen, busted out his patented “Where’s bin Laden?” line to a smattering of polite applause and a few chortles. Then, in a stunning show of prophetic whimsy, Sharples went on a bin Laden observational rant that closed with the line “We couldn’t find this bozo if he was holed up in mansion with fortified walls, sixty miles outside of Islamabad.”
“Maybe this will prove once and for all, and with all due respect, that Mr. Tommy Sharples is a genius and a comic ahead of his time, even though he’s currently behind the times.” said Sharples’ agent and confidant, Danny Rose, who was enjoying a liverwurst and onion sandwich at the Carnegie Deli on 7th Avenue in New York. “Of course now, Tommy will have to change his act and focus on the number two man in Al Qaeda, Ayman al-Zawahiri, who admittedly doesn’t pack the comedic punch bin Laden did. I guess I’ll have to go back to promoting my one armed juggler for a while.”