MIAMI (Special to TSD AfterDark) Jazz and fusion guitarist, Pat Metheny was pulled over at 2:25 this afternoon moments after driving at the speed limit on Ocean Drive in South Beach. Police claim the Grammy Award winning musician was stopped after they received numerous complaints by several teenage girls for playing “confusing, yet exquisitely beautiful chord changes over a 6/8 rhythm” over the car’s sound system.
“We have an ordinance here. We’re basically a C major town.” said officer Ramon Orlando. “Lush, dense harmonies and polyrhythms are frowned upon. Samples and backbeats are fine throughout the week, while pseudo-Latin grooves are allowed on Fridays and Saturdays from 8:00PM till 4:00AM. Mr. Metheny was listening to rich and painfully lovely, harmonic chord changes against super-locrian scales and polyrhythms – and that’s a real no no. It promotes progressive independent thinking and God forbid, soul searching. We just can’t have that. So I had to write him up for ‘excessive stacked fourths and going all Jobim in a Dubstep zone.’”
Metheny paid the fine and listened to Zeds Dead till be left the Miami city limits.