This Just In. Something Lewcun Jankauskas is hoping to tell Lara Logan.
POUGHKEEPSIE, NY (Special to TSD After Dark) Lewcun Jankauskas, an out of work mechanical engineer, spends his time combing the classifieds online and in newspapers, and tries to keep up with breaking news. However, he’s found the latter increasingly difficult especially when it’s reported by the leggy CBS correspondent, Lara Logan.
“I can’t handle it,” said Jankauskas. “I mean have you ever taken a look at her? Jesus Christ almighty! The sexuality that oozes from that woman is unceasing. Those comely glares into the camera when she describes one of our fighting boys disarming a roadside bomb just puts me over the moon. Her pursing lips and that accent – how do I say this discreetly – really gets my testicles boiling to a point where I feel I can flood the entire Mid-Hudson Valley with a raging current of my man seed.”