We break down the Perfect Independence Day Cuisine. We offer Fireworks for the budget-minded. And the story of how one TSDer nearly had a Deliverance moment with his fireworks stash. It’s all in AFTER DARK.

Forward Thinking Chocolate. Luc Richard Mbah a Moute's candy bar in production.

MILWAUKEE (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) With arguably the hardest name to pronounce in the NBA, Luc Richard Mbah a Moute of the Milwaukee Bucks is excited to unveil his brand new candy bar, The Luc Richard Mbah a Moute, which will be manufactured and distributed by the Johns Candy Company in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. 

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Once in a while we’ll stumble onto sports satire sites.  A lot of them give it the old college try, but fall short.  Others just flat out stink.  From time to time, we’ll find something worth mentioning. 

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Yao on teammates dipping into his herbal stash: "I'm happy to share, it is Chinese way, but if only they would have asked first...then I would have told them where to get the good shit."

“A very mellow buzz, reminiscent of sensimillia grown in upper altitudes… but after fifteen minutes you’re hungry for more.”

HOUSTON, TX. (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) —  In Houston to get a second and third opinion on his fractured left foot, Houston Rocket’s center Yao Ming received a package containing an assortment of ancient herbal remedies delivered by Chinese officials hoping to facilitate his recovery from what several medical doctors say may be a career-ending injury.  Read the rest of this entry »

Juilliard freshman Gunther Paulsson displays "game face" before taking the field for intra-campus exhibition football game. Paulsson plans on trying out for a position on the team's offensive line, where his heft, booming baritone and heroic golden pigtails are best suited.

NEW YORK, NY (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service)— If you can knock out two flawless etudes, break off a dazzling solo and nail a representative sampling of standard orchestral excerpts – all under the withering scrutiny of the school’s famously demanding faculty — you stand a chance of playing Juilliard football in the fall of 2011. With more musical prodigies per square inch than perhaps anywhere else on earth, Juilliard is the last place one would expect to have a football program. Read the rest of this entry »

Beat It. "Please," says Reggie Jackson. "I'm not who you think I am."

LOS ANGELES (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Though he’s been away from the game of baseball for over twenty years, and has virtually no background in music, Hall of Famer Reggie Jackson has found himself the surrogate icon for millions of music fans devastated by the death of Michael Jackson last week.

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After Dark asks “Why do they always die in threes?” A look and listen to a classic TV theme song. And there’s actually a guy who didn’t know where he was when JFK was shot. It’s all here. 

Uncharacteristically scared and confused, Ty Cobb races home with the 21st century at his back.

DETROIT (Special to Sportsman’s Daily and What If Sports) Shortly after Ty Cobb’s Tigers notched their first win in Game Three of the Sim Series, beating Babe Ruth’s 1932 Yankees 5-3, the legendary slugger found himself outside Tiger Stadium wandering unfamiliar streets where strange vehicles purred and “people of color” roamed free, unbowed and unhumbled.  Dazed and a bit confused, Cobb sought to regain his bearings and staggered into a public men’s room, where blacks relieved themselves with whites, as though it was the most natural thing in the world. He then found himself at a luncheonette where he was shocked to find people of color seated at the counter, being served as though they were Caucasians. Read the rest of this entry »

Sucker for Soccer. Angelo Venuti can't get enough MLS.

PHILADELPHIA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Angelo Venuti is a bona fide Philadelphia sports fan. He loves the Eagles, Phillies, Sixers, and Flyers. But lately those in his circle of friends have grown concerned over what seems to be his disproportionate knowledge of professional soccer.  

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