Bicycle Schmicycle. Jean Pierre Bontecou's repeated attempts to find his balance have failed much like this go at it on a Nice street.

Top Twenty Finisher in ‘94 Race Still Unable to Figure it Out

NICE, FRANCE (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) — It’s been said once you learn to ride a bike, you never forget. Well, apparently Jean Pierre Bontecou has forgotten. A top twenty finisher in the 1994 Tour de France, Bontecou had stopped cycling professionally and given it up altogether eight years ago to pursue a career in advertising. Then, last week, his four year old son Claude wanted to learn to ride a bike. Bontecou confidently pulled his still sleek looking custom made model from the garage and got on. However, much to his surprise, he was unable to balance himself at all. (more…)

What a Stinker! Anders Rasmussen, one of Denmark’s top professional fisherman stands with the fountainhead of the rotten smell that’s perplexed Danes for years. The fish was remarkably well preserved.

COPENHAGEN (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service)“There’s something rotten in Denmark.”  You’ve heard older people say that ever since you could remember.

But who among us has contemplated what it really means? Was it ever really explained to you? Conventional wisdom dictates it means “someone’s up to no good.” (more…)

Four of boxing’s most beloved stiffs coaxed from retirement for one-time bout.

Chuck Wepner, aka "The Bayonne Bleeder", shown in a vintage pose missing with wild right hand, his blood-streaked face about to become a sickening bloody pulp following a punishing succession of unanswered blows...one after the other, lefts, rights, uppercuts, each blow struck with precision and mounting fury, turning what was once a face into a hideous maw of tissue and exposed bone. LollaPalooka promoter Stan Platt promises to give fans value for their entertainment dollar.

PHILADELPHIA, PA (The Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service)— Many view the 70′s and early to mid-80′s as boxing’s finest years. Just about every division had fighters with great skill and heart and the rivalries were the stuff of legend. But for every Holmes and Hagler, there was a Bugner and a LeDoux, plodding “palookas” whose “heart” made up for limited skill, their fights a triumph of perseverance over common sense. Put a Chuck Wepner or a Randall “Tex” Cobb in the ring and the outcome was assured: cuts would open between rounds 1-2, blood would begin gushing by the 3rd, eyes would swell shut by the 4th, and by the 5th or 6th their corner would be imploring their fighter — by now a soundly beaten, barely conscious shell of a human being — to call it a night…only to see the poor hopeless bastard answer the next bell and step face first into another lacerating blow.

Inspired by a random encounter with 64 year old Sylvester Stallone, old school promoters Stan and Morty Platt actually believe there are people willing to pay money to see Chuck Wepner, Scott LeDoux, Randall “Tex” Cobb and Joe Bugner step inside the ropes for a final blood-soaked hurrah. (more…)

Face It Big Fella. You never played for your favorite team and never will.

A Bit of Wordplay to Make a Point

BOCA RATON, FL (Special to Sportsman’s Daily) I used to be guilty of this. And now, much like a reformed smoker, I’m a stickler for pointing out to people the ills of taking credit and shifting blame.

Allow me to explain.

When my favorite team was on a winning streak, I was very fond of saying, “Man, we sure are playing great!”

WE. Not THEY. But WE. As in I have something to do with it.

Conversely, when my team was stinking it up, I was quick to yell “Man, do they ever suck!”

THEY. Not WE. But THEY. As in I have nothing to do with it. (more…)

The One. The Only. Harry Reems.

Why do we love the 70′s?  Was it the music? Was it the gas prices? Was it the movies? Well, it certainly wasn’t Nixon.

When Harry Reems starred opposite Linda Lovelace in Deep Throat, it started a trend. Yes, all of a sudden, porn became more sophisticated. But more importanlty, the male star’s mustache was now a bonafide fashion statement. Everyone from Burt Reynolds to Ken Norton had one.

But no one wore them better than baseball players. (more…)

No Bowl of Cherries. Mildred and Stanley Slavish of Nanticoke, Pennsylvania say they will stop following pro bowlers around beginning next week, effectively ending the 52 year run of the PBA.

NANTICOKE, PA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) In the 1960’s and 70’s, it was as much a Saturday afternoon institution as going to the kiddie matinee at the local movie theatre. Announcers Chris Schenkel along with Billy Welu, and later Nelson Burton Jr. brought bowling into the homes of millions of viewers across America every weekend on ABC television. The broadcast still had a sizable following in the 1980’s and even early 1990’s. But by 1997 coverage ended. (more…)

Follow Ty Cobb on Twitter!

BOCA RATON, FL (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) SimulCom, a video and voice simulation company based in Boca Raton, Florida, creates computer-generated simulations of encounters with world historical figures. Go to their website and chat it up with Isaac Newton, George Bernard Shaw, FDR, or Babe Ruth. Type in a question and 7 out of 10 times you’ll get a relevant answer.

The company has just announced that it has harnessed its technology to transmit “tweets” from long dead sports stars. Among the Twitter-ers are the aforementioned Babe, baseball’s Ty Cobb, football great Red Grange, heavyweight champ Jack Dempsey and basketball legend Wilt Chamberlain. Users choose which dead sports legend to follow, and through the day they receive tweets from what SimulCom’s founder and CEO Arthur Wolfson calls (via a tweet, naturally) “the playing flds of the grt beyond.” (more…)

MIAMI (Special to Sportsman’s Daily) He’ll freely admit that he’s had more second chances than Steve Howe. He’s never lied about the lies he’s told. He thumps his chest about coming clean and getting clean in his tell all book, “You’re Wrong and You’re Ugly.”

Sure it sounds like I’m talking about a man in his 70’s perhaps looking for one last triumph before riding off into the…casino. But if Shakespeare’s right and we are all merely players on a world stage, then Sid Rosenberg’s play is at best near the end of Act One. Barely in his mid 40’s, Rosenberg is coming into the prime years of a sportscasting career. This is the time most have their peak earning years and make the most noise in the business. (more…)

Its the weekend and time again for TSD AfterDark. This time we recall a Classic Cruise from a classic sleuth, see why Slang for Wanker is just cheap spam, and remember TEJ Music – not fit for elevators.  Its all here.

Cheerleaders demonstrate core strength and pulse-racing athleticism.

PHOENIX (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) As reported by the Associated Press, competitive cheerleading is not an official sport that colleges can use to meet gender-equity requirements, a federal judge ruled Wednesday in ordering Quinnipiac University to keep its women’s volleyball team. Nationally renowned cheerleader coach Sparkles Botwinick begs to differ.

“Not a sport my ass,” snorted Botwinick, still a petite dynamo at 47 years old. “Cheerleading at the highest levels requires athleticism, conditioning, and the ability to execute under pressure.  You try doing a  2½ high pyramid into a twisting basket toss with 25,000 frothing at the mouth maniacs trying to get a peek under your skirt, then tell me it’s not a sport.” (more…)

Got Lame. George “Set Shot” Slavish launches a shot in this 1948 photo when he played in a semi-pro league in Scranton, Pennsylvania. He led the league in scoring that year with 6.0 average.

SCRANTON, PA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) — At age eighty-five, George Slavish still played pick up basketball three times a week in the Scranton Over Seventy League. Though he long ago lost his respectable dribbling abilities and trick shot making skills, his on court savvy never abandoned him. But Slavish’s days in basketball ended suddenly last Tuesday after he managed to steal a ball from seventy-seven year old Abe Kitzman. While attempting to make an open court layup as several teammates and opponents were gasping for oxygen, Slavish collapsed to the hardwoods, the victim of a massive stroke.

“He made that play with all the alacrity of a sea turtle – it was profoundly mundane – lame, but serviceable. That’s our George,” said teammate Jimmy Ligouri. It took ninety-one year old coach Arnie Kotch forty-four minutes to figure out how to dial 911. (more…)

A fawning, mature-beyond-his years ass-kissing go-getter -- better known as a teenaged Bill Clinton -- admires the political chops of his idol, JFK.

WASHINGTON, DC (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) — For politically obsessed youngsters, scenic Camp Potomac is eight weeks of pure heaven. The sprawling grounds occupy the entire eighth floor of an office building in downtown Washington where cherub-faced campers get to spend all day rubbing shoulders with politicians and political operatives, learning the ins and outs of running winning campaigns with nary a break for softball, tetherball, free swim or any of the other distractions associated with the standard summer camp experience. (more…)