Whatever happens in the ring, it's lights out for Evander Holyfield

ATLANTA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) His body is as sculpted as it ever was, but at age 47, Evander Holyfield is, well, 47 – a point where the body starts to balk and bruises refuse to heal. But that’s not stopping the four time heavyweight champ from stepping into the ring January 16 to face 41-year-old Francois Botha. At stake is the World Boxing Federation heavyweight belt…and the grey gelatinous mass that sits uneasily inside his hardened cranium. (more…)

I coulda been a contenduh. Instead of what I am, a revered thespian of the highest order. Ex-champ Mike Tyson runs some lines with fellow actors at the currently unnamed theatre he's trying to restore.

Ex-Champ Talks with Sportsman’s Daily

The Sportsman’s Daily’s Carl Davies recently caught up with Mike Tyson who was visiting the neighborhood where he was born, the Brownsville section of Brooklyn, New York. Tyson was the world’s youngest heavyweight champion and is no stranger to controversy and legal troubles. But now, surprisingly, Iron Mike comes clean. Tyson speaks in his usual high pitched voice, but to our total surprise it is delivered in a tongue that is part British Received Pronunciation and Standard American Stage.

The Sportsman’s Daily: Mike, you’ve been flying under the radar of late. What are you doing here in Brooklyn?

Mike Tyson: Carl, I’m in the process of restoring this wonderful theatre. The building’s over one hundred years old, and I’d hate to see it fall victim to the wrecking ball. We’re currently rehearsing “Waiting for Buster Douglas” by Michael Vogel, a dazzling young talent I’m sure you’ll hear a lot more about. (more…)

Yo Philly! Stallone lays it on the line with a devastated city.

PHILADELPHIA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The defending champion Philadelphia Phillies couldn’t not stave off elimination for a second time in Game Six of the 2009 World Series as the New York Yankees captured their twenty-seventh World Championship.

The clutch hitting of series MVP Hideki Matsui propelled the Yanks to a 7-3 victory and celebration in the Bronx.

Conversely, the mood on the streets of the City of Brotherly Love was somber. (more…)

“You want a piece of me? Well, that can be arranged by combining Ammonium Oxalate and Rhodamine B,” says Chemical Ali

BAGHDAD, IRAQ (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) — Ali Hassan Abd al-Majid al-Tikriti, the former Iraqi Defense Minister known as Chemical Ali, learned last Thursday that he would be executed within the month. Upon hearing the news, Ali made only one request, that he have one last fight with former World Heavyweight Champion Joe Frazier in a scheduled fifteen round boxing match. (more…)

You Wanna Complain? Arnold "The Chronic Complainer" Lefkowicz freezes his opponents with his endless whining.

OMAHA, NE (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Arnold “The Chronic Complainer” Lefkowicz, a star wrestler in the fledgling Heartland Professional Wrestling Association (HPWA) was suspended for violating league rules last weekend by using a foreign object in his match against the Gargler. It was later discovered that the foreign object was actually a foreigner named Stavros Plakokefalos of Korinthos, Greece who was visiting his brother, Dimitrios, owner of the Olympia Diner on Omaha’s south side. (more…)

I came across this earlier today in Page Six of the NY Post:

“That guy scares me,” Iron Mike told Page Six at the premiere of James Toback‘s documentary, “Tyson,” at Loews near Union Square. “I wouldn’t want to be in a room with that guy.”

Yeah, me either. I don’t know where you were when Iron Mike was kicking ass, but the self-proclaimed “baddest man on the planet” was, for that brief span of time, the baddest man on the planet — maybe with the exception of a handful of Russian mobsters.  He had guys whupped on their way into the ring — I distinctly remember poor, shaken Marvis Frazier and Michael Spinks, looking like they’re ready to surrender well before getting  KO’d in the first round. But what I also remember are my own sweaty palms and racing pulse — there was nothing like the raw animal fear you felt just  watching it at home — or at a bar — as Tyson , sans robe, menace rolling off him like black fog, made his way into the ring.  Then, boom, one, two, three rounds later, it’s all over…and the relief you feel, as if you’ve just pulled yourself out of a bad dream.  Where can you go to get that these days, assuming you don’t have the benefit of an amply stocked medicine cabinet?

Frazier vs. Ali — Chemical Ali, that is.

RodDICK Move – Andy Splits with Brother

On April 11, HBO is showing a doc on the Thrilla in Manilla, the epic 1975  Frazier-Ali battle — the third in their “trilogy.”  Here’s a description from VSL (www.veryshortlist.com), an excellent service, btw.  

When Smokin’ Joe Frazier and Muhammad Ali first squared off, in 1971, they were fast friends and undefeated fighters. By the time of their third fight, in the Philippines in 1975, they’d been humbled and hardened, and had turned into bitter enemies.

Ali warmed up for the bout by calling Frazier “gorilla” and “Uncle Tom.” Frazier bit his tongue and fumed. The fight was brutal; the aftermath, ugly: Today, Ali is a shadow of his former self, and just last year, Frazier was living in the back of a Philadelphia gym. The Channel 4 documentary Thrilla in Manila is fiercely partisan on Frazier’s behalf. It’s also disturbing (Frazier claims responsibility for, and revels in, Ali’s physical decline), surprising (Imelda Marcos pops up as one of the interviewees), and riveting. Don’t miss the HBO premiere, on April 11.

OXFORD, MISS (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Will he or won’t he? As Senator John McCain decides whether or not to show up for tonight’s scheduled debate in Oxford, Mississippi, the Obama campaign is considering its options.

One is whether to accept the McCain campaign’s offer to debate 87 year-old McCain supporter/surrogate Max Shapiro, who hails from Tamarac, Florida. Shapiro, a former boxer who fought under the name Max “the Knife” Shavers, is known in Century Village circles as a “combative son of a bitch” with little patience for Democrats, minorities, children, pets and just about anyone not named Max Shapiro.

“Max is an ornery bastard, he’s been making trouble at board meetings since I can remember,” said Evelyn Blatt, President of Tamarac’s Century Village, an enclave boiling with cantankerous retirees. “He’s cheap, argumentative and thinks anyone to the left of Genghis Khan is a commie. But I’ll give him this – he’s still pretty sharp, considering his age and the blows he absorbed to the head in his youth. I wouldn’t underestimate him…he knows the talking points.”

Bev Shapiro, Max’s 52 year old daughter, is afraid it’s just another McCain stunt and urges her father to re-consider.

“Remember Zell Miller in ’04? Well, put Zell Miller on a fixed income, with irritable bowel syndrome and a lifetime of bitter disappointment and you’ve got dad. I don’t follow politics that closely, but even I can see what’s going on here – watch some black guy harass an old, seemingly defenseless Jew from South Florida. The only thing is, the McCain people should have done a better job vetting my dad – when they see this angry old guy waving a fist at Obama and calling him a thieving schvartze, he’s not going to be looking all that sympathetic.”

The Obama camp hopes that Senator McCain reconsiders his position and attends the debate; if he doesn’t, they say their candidate will happily “break challah and kibbitz” with the man who many in his community remember as “the only Jew who really did vote for Buchanan in 2000.”