Patriots’ Generous Move of Spotting Ravens 24 First Quarter Points Backfires
FOXBOROUGH, MA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) New England Patriots’ Head Coach Bill Belichick’s strategy of spotting the Baltimore Ravens 24 first quarter points was apparently the wrong one as the Ravens were able to not only hold on, but win convincingly 33-14.
“Well, if you want the truth,” said Belichick. “Tommy (Tom Brady) was talking about how he’d spot points to his opponents in pick up games when he was a kid just to prove he could comeback and win. I used to do the same thing as a kid myself. So I figured it could be kinda fun. That’s when I told my defense to just lay down for a while. Boy, did they ever lay down. Tommy and Randy (Moss) came up to me in the beginning of the second quarter like a couple of real cutie pies and start running their mouths about the big comeback. But It didn’t happen, did it?”
Tom Brady was devastated.
“I remember once when I was kid,” the sobbing Patriots quarterback lamented staring off into the middle distance. “I was playing one on one basketball with Stevie Healy from the neighborhood. He had a really bad limp and mumbled a lot. But I spotted him twenty-five points and we played to thirty by ones. I still came back and beat his sorry freaky ass. Why didn’t it happen today? God damn Ravens! I hate those bastards.”
Patriots fans booed their team loudly after the score was 14-0. In an isolated incident, longtime Pats fan Matt Harper, 48, of nearby Chelsea was seen having his legs broken by his bookie with 2:23 left in the first quarter.
Brady left the locker room still in his uniform, got into his Cadillac Escalade and drove off, but not before punching an elderly nun in the teeth.