Both Seventh Inning Stretch Traditional Songs to Be Replaced by Obscure Zappa Concerto
Play Zappa! It's the 7th-inning stretch folks!
LOS ANGELES (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Take Me Out to the Ball Game has been a seventh-inning stretch tradition for generations. Along with Happy Birthday, it is perhaps the most familiar sing-along most everyone know the words to. In a post-9/11 world, God Bless America has stood shoulder to shoulder with Take Me Out to the Ball Game at baseball games across America.
But, like a nation grows weary of a stale scandal, these supposed time-tested tunes are being replaced.
“Borrrring,” said 74 year old Stan Siricki. “No one likes a nice patriotic refrain like I do, but let’s face it, the melody is getting old. And besides it was loosely based on God Bless Armenia anyway. And don’t even get me started with Take Me Out to the Ball Game. Personally I feel just like every other self-respecting baseball fan does. Give us more Frank Zappa.”
And more Frank Zappa is just what America’s getting.
At stadiums and ballparks across America, Major League Baseball is adopting the late Zappa’s 1983 composition, Concerto de Francesco.
“Nothing says ‘play ball’ quite like a twelve tone, poly-rhythmic, obscenity-laced, twenty-eight minute wall of sound,” said MLB Commissioner, Bud Selig. “I seriously think this might be my greatest legacy.”
Fans of highly complex progressive music and free speech couldn’t agree more.
Beginning next Monday, fans will have the unusual task of adjusting to a near half-hour break between the top and bottom of the seventh-inning replete with odd-meter time signatures and cellos making farting sounds.
But not everyone agrees the break with tradition is a good idea.
“I need to work in the morning,” said Burbank native, Hector Perez. “This adds a heluva lot of time to the commute back from Dodger Stadium. They could have saved time by doing anything by the Ramones.”
Tags: Frank Zappa, LA Dodgers, MLB