Dodgers’ Billingsley Wows LA Crowd With Spectacular Seven Hitter
LOS ANGELES (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Chad Billingsley dazzled a star-studded Los Angeles crowd last night as he scattered seven hits over six innings, allowing four earned runs and absorbing the loss in an 11-3 spanking by the Milwaukee Brewers. All told, the Dodgers staff allowed thirteen hits, in a game that never seemed in doubt for the Brewers.
“This is the kind of remarkably average to poor pitching we’ve come to expect from our staff this year,” said Dodgers Pitching Coach Rick Honeycutt. “His (Billingsley) mechanics were spotty at best. After the first inning was over, I turned to Joe (Torre) and said ‘I am consistently awed by the level of mediocrity and resignation these fellas exhibit on a nightly basis.’”
Director Quentin Tarantino called Billingsley’s performance “an exquisite display of a protagonist enduring the anguish of a world rapidly closing in on him and not having the balls to do a thing about it. His restraint was epic.”
Tarantino continued to pontificate throughout the game much to the chagrin of his fellow fans as he sat in the second row behind home plate.
“This is why sports is ultimately better than any movie,” the quirky filmmaker quipped. “Because there are so many intangibles you just can’t script in any way. It’s the real time, spontaneous, immediacy that you don’t get in movies that makes the differance. Granted, I would have liked to have seen a lot more blood and brains caked to the back of the dugout walls, but that’s me. Dammit! I wish I’d have gotten here sooner than the fourth inning. But the traffic on the 110 was a fucking parking lot. The traffic in the actual parking lot was a lot better.”