Manny Ramirez At-Bat Intro Music Changed to Funeral March
LOS ANGELES (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) First the Mannywood sign is taken down. Next the fan club support dwindles.
Apparently the love affair that Manny Ramirez had with the Dodgers and their fans is over.
With hip hop, rock, and country interspersed with lively organ music, players enjoy striding to the plate to their own signature musical theme at Dodger Stadium. But the team has taken the reigns with Ramirez. Apparently the choice is no longer his.
“He now walks up to the dish being serenaded to the suicide-inducing strains of the funeral music for Akhnaten’s father in Act I of the opera Akhnaten by Philip Glass,” said manager Joe Torre. “It prepares us and him for the inevitable let down. It helps us grieve.”
Though Ramirez is performing fairly well in limited playing time, he is no longer the offensive force he once was. Age and injuries have caught up to him, and the Manny Being Manny act is getting old, even by Hollywood standards.
“Its the same recycled garbage,” said Simon Fuller, creator of American Idol. “Can you imagine rolling out the same tired, abysmal, vapid, dog and pony show year after bloody fucking year and expect the great unwashed to keep tuning in? That’s what Manny’s doing. Its not even cute anymore.”
Several eyewitnesses said a clearly despondent Ramirez was huddled next to the discarded letters of the Mannywood sign in the Dodger’s parking lot mumbling incoherently.
“This is baseball in Hollywood,” Torre added. “This business will eat you alive. If he’s willing to change his act and take acting lessons, dancing lessons, singing lessons, whatever – and really shows us he can change his tune, then maybe we’ll change his tune too.”