Favre Inks Deal with Hallmark for Lovely “Bulge in Pants” Greeting Card Line
MINNEAPOLIS (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre parlayed controversy into opportunity yesterday when it was announced he signed a deal with Hallmark, the greeting card company. Terms were not disclosed.
Hallmark, founded in 1910, manufactures nearly half of the greeting cards sold and sent in the United States and has taken steps in recent years to provide more edgy products in a competitive industry.
Favre is currently under investigation for alleged misconduct. Accusations of sending photos of his penis to Jenn Sterger, an actress and model, who once hosted New York Jets Gameday, have swirled around the 41 year old pass thrower. But Favre refused to sit idly by and had his agent contact Hallmark with the idea.
“At my age, you want to diversify,” said Favre. “If you haven’t noticed in recent years, I’ve firmly established myself as a bit of a dick. I figured if I can license my junk to an American institution like Hallmark, it can only help my image.”
Hallmark spokesperson Melinda Crane concurred.
“Brett’s decision making both on and off the field is a real head scratcher,” said Crane who unveiled several mockups to a throng of reporters and invited guests including Sterger. “Whether its throwing into double coverage or taking snapshots of his wanker, making poor choices can be a money maker. This is America after all.”
“That’s Brett,” said Sterger upon gazing at one particular layout depicting Favre’s bulging jeans. “It has that kind of ‘I’m just glad to be here’ Mississippi bravado.”