Power Outage at Giants Stadium Results in Jerry Jones Feeling Up Female Luxury Box Attendant

She and Mr. Jones. Jerry gets busy when the lights dim.

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) On two separate occasions the lights went out at Giants Stadium on Sunday as the Cowboys stunned the host New York Giants 33-20. Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, took the electrical snafus as an opportunity to get in on his team’s action – in a manner of speaking.

“Yep. I did it. I went and got me some,” the maverick owner chimed afterward. “Felt a little titty and beaver in the pitch black. Reminded me of when I was a kid and Trent Hollock’s sister Doreen was always hanging around. Got me some then too.”

Jones was apparently sampling some shrimp cocktail and enjoying a Heineken when 38 year old Giants employee, Althea Travers stepped into the luxury box to replenish the shrimp and doilies. That’s when the facility experienced the first of two power outages.

“That old pervert pretended he was reaching for the potato puffs and grabbed my breast instead,” said Travers. “He latched on pretty good too – sorta like he was sampling the plums in the produce aisle at Grand Union. Then, about twenty seconds after that, I felt this rooting around sensation in my cooter. The exterminator was there the night before, so I knew it wasn’t a rodent. That’s when Mr. Jones was just smiling and said “You wanna work for me, Darlin’?”

When asked if she would consider working for Jones, Travers said she would think about it.

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