Illustrated Man Out Tattoos NBA All-Stars During Halftime Festivities; Claims Copyright Infringement
LOS ANGELES (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The Illustrated Man, the character created by legendary science fiction writer Ray Bradbury and played by Rod Steiger in the 1969 film of the same name, made a shocking and entirely unexpected appearance at Sunday’s NBA All-Star Game in Los Angeles.
“It was horrific,” said the game’s high scorer, hometown favorite, Kobe Bryant who led the West to a 148-143 victory. “My man was chilling – and when I say that – I don’t mean chillin’. It was chilling as in bone chilling, scary-ass shit.”
Players, coaches, fans and even some members of the security team bolted for the exits as this horrific, mutated man, who is both from the past and the future, stood at mid court bathed in an eerie, incandescent glow, as the pulsating strains of Lil’ Wayne came to a screeching halt.
He called out LeBron James and Carmelo Anthony in particular as two figures who blatantly stole his idea for full body tattoos.
“I haven’t been around for sometime,” the Illustrated Man said. “I am outraged by the abundance of tattoos. Not only does it scream copyright infringement, it really steals my thunder as a social statement, since everyone and their brother looks just like me. In fact, the other day I was with some woman, I’ll spare you the details, and she had an advertisement for Penzoil on her left breast. What’s the world coming to?”
Kobe Bryant soon gained his composure and added, “Come to think of it, this dude is lame. Chris “Birdman” Anderson makes him look like a World War II vet with a tattoo of ‘Mother’ on his left forearm.”