LeBron Wins Special Oscar® for Outstanding Achievement in Sports Entertainment Douche Baggery
MIAMI (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Miami Heat Forward LeBron James played opposite himself Sunday evening in a manner of speaking. He was unable to collect his special Academy Award in Los Angeles as he was busy in Miami losing to the retooled, New York Knicks 91-86.
James infuriated the city of Cleveland last year when he spurned the fans and the Cavaliers by picking the Heat as his new team in a highly publicized press conference event.
“In essence he cast himself as the villain,” said Academy member, Clifford Stokes. “And since the line between sports and entertainment gets blurrier every day, we felt it was time LeBron get an award he really deserves. That’s why we voted him this special Oscar® for Outstanding Achievement in Sports Entertainment Douche Baggery.”
“Wow,” said James. “This makes losing to the Knicks a little easier to swallow. You think I’m a douche bag. You really think I’m a douche bag. I want to thank the Academy, my mom, and all the fans in Cleveland and New York who really and truly hate my ass.”
James held up the award as tears streamed down his face, adding, “I know exactly where I’m gonna stick this.”