Masters Champ Charl Schwartzel Forgoes Green Jacket for Hot Babe
AUGUSTA, GA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) South African Charl Schwartzel won the Masters yesterday in a battle with six other golfers in contention for the coveted green jacket and the right to be called Masters Champion.
Schwartzel fired a final round 66, ultimately winning the tournament by two strokes over Adam Scott and Jason Day.
Schwartzel decided to break with tradition and passed up taking home the green jacket, and instead tried on a hot blonde.
“She fits like a glove and color coordinates with most of my wardrobe better than that lime green nightmare,” the 26 year old linkster quipped. “Plus, I don’t have to pay those expensive dry cleaning costs – as she generally washes up right at home.”
The blonde wound up being Schwartzel’s wife, Rosalind.
“I did try on Jason’s (Day) wife, Ellie, and I must say I enjoyed that,” added Schwartzel. “But she clashed a bit with my burgundy smoking jacket with the gold trim. In the end, Rosalind gave me more options.”
The green jacket itself has presented golfers with a fashion conundrum – what to wear?
“If this was 1974, we wouldn’t be having this discussion, as fashion sense was in the proverbial shitter at the time,” said Augusta National spokesperson, Parker Forsythe. “A green jacket with piss stained pink trousers and a polka dot tie was perfectly acceptable. Hard to believe.”
The big question is if Schwartzel is unable to defend his title next year, what will the new winner asked to be fitted with?
Schwartzel stared off into the middle distance adding, “Hmm…I didn’t think of that.”