Tiger Woods Reflects on What Could Have Been; “I Would Have Hit it All Night”
AUGUSTA, GA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) – Mulling his third-place finish the day after this year’s Masters, Tiger Woods had every reason to be pleased. For the greatest golfer of his era, however, losing in any form is not enough, and something was missing: his “ladies.”
“I started the day seven strokes back, but from the very beginning I had that crowd cheering like a full on bachelor party getting lapdances,” Woods said. ”I was hitting it great: long, short, fade, draw, everything. I’m ripped, I was seriously flexing out there. If my damned putter hadn’t let me down, I know I would have won. Instead here I am making excuses to you jerk-offs.”
Woods, 35, is used to winning, particularly at Augusta, where he has won four of golf’s coveted green jackets. Many believe his recent inability to win has been caused by the well-publicized problems in his personal life. When asked who would have congratulated him on the 18th green had he won, Woods exploded.
“Like who is going to run into my arms? My mom couldn’t make the trip, OK?” he seethed. “None of my siblings could either. My ex-wife has the kids. That’s what divorce is.”
“The problem I had Sunday was the PGA Tour won’t let me text-message while I am on the course, so I was unable to coordinate with my ladies. Let’s face it folks, Charlie Sheen has nothing on ol’ Tiger. Tiger blood? Please. I’m the original, baby.” Woods added.
Reflecting further on the question of how well he played Sunday, Woods could not help but dwell on what might have been.
“I hit it good all day,” Woods said. ”I hit it good all weekend. And if I’d won I would have hit it all night!!”