‘Roids Ravage the Runway: A Special Report from TSD Fashion Writer Lloyd Featherstone

 

Slovenian model of indetermindate gender (and Jessica Parker look-alike) strikes pose before gathering a makeup artist, two publicists and Donatella Versace’s assistant in a vice-like headlock. All four passed out and were revived by a contingent of male models who happed upon the scene.

 

6’-7” Amazonian supermodels from Latvia…models with superhuman stamina, capable of withstanding 72 hour non-stop photo shoots…hair stylists and personal assistants pummeled in fits of rage…TSD’s investigative fashion writer, Lloyd Featherstone, files this head-turning account.


(Special to Sportsman’s Daily)

NEW YORK (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service)–  Persistent rumors of widespread HGH use among top super models have all but overshadowing recent shows unveiling the Fall collections from the likes of Michael Cors, Anna Sui and Vera Wang.

It seemed just yesterday when the “waif” look ruled the runway and anorexic models wafted weightlessly across the pages of top fashion magazines. Then, beginning around 2003-2004, we noticed changes, starting with the Marc Jacobs show in Milan, where his homage to 70’s teen fashion (with hints of playful pederasty) was in sharp contrast to the freakishly large, angry models that stalked the runway – at least a third were over 6’-4”, with comically oversized heads and shockingly large, mannish hands — all exuding a barely suppressed rage that seemed completely at odds with the theme of the collection.

Flash forward seven years, as we caught up with several prominent “fashionistas” who shared their thoughts and observations about the rumors convulsing the fashion world.

“I’m not surprised, I’ve been backstage, I see what goes on,” said veteran fashion watcher and serial dater of super models Derek Jeter. “Was I shocked to see some of the world’s most beautiful women with needles sticking out of their butts? Well, shock isn’t the word that comes immediately to mind. Though I’ll admit, the excitement tends to diminish when you get a load of the back acne.”

I asked Derek if he’d ever dated a model he suspected was “juicing.”

“Oh yeah, definitely. A couple of years ago I was dating a girl from Slovenia – 6’5” with legs like a steel vice. It was like having sex with (former teammate) Jason Giambi. Come to think of it, one morning I woke up with Giambi in my bed – to this day I’m not sure what he was doing there.”

Former New York Giant Jeremy Shockey used to be a regular at the city’s most exclusive strip clubs until he became a fixture at fashion shows – on at least two occasions has accompanied me to Paris and London during the off-season for private showings.

“A couple of years ago I was in Milan for several shows…I don’t remember if it was the Donna Karan or Versace show, but after I went backstage to hit on some models and out comes Naomi Campbell, screaming, throwing cell phones, kicking and swinging like a wild animal. I ain’t seen nothing like it – think Ray Lewis, but with amazing bone structure. I’m a big guy, I like contact, so I’m thinking, damn, this broad’s hot…until she punched me in the nuts, which wasn’t cool. Now either that’s one crazy be-yatch, or she’s juicing – most likely both.”

Of the super models he’s dated, Shockey estimates “easily two-thirds” were taking HGH.

“Other than the occasional freak-outs, which I learned to deal with (mostly by leaving the apartment for three weeks and changing my phone number), the sex was great. The thing about HGH is that it aids recovery – no matter how much punishment you dish out, ten minutes later she’s fully recovered and ready to go.”

The fashion world is, by definition, fickle. Yesterday it was “heroin chic,” today it’s HGH and super-sized super models. So let’s not get our panties all in a bunch – this too will pass. And to tell you the truth, aesthetically I much prefer today’s uber-model look – and frankly, some designers show better on big, strapping, androgynous frames. As far as the scary and increasingly frequent hissy fits, heck, it comes with the territory. If there’s a major downside, it’s the dramatic spike in bulimia – HGH allows you to withstand sustained purging, but with no accompanying loss in muscle tone – which, come to think of it, might account for how streamlined some baseball players look in their double knits.

 

Tags:

Comments are closed.