Rory McIlroy Annihilates Field at U.S. Open; Wins Coveted Pink Panties
BETHESDA, MD (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) 22 year old phenom, Rory McIlroy captured the United States Open Sunday after enjoying record setting rounds of golf throughout the tournament at Congressional.
“At no point did I really think I was in trouble,” said the young pro from Northern Ireland who had an eight shot victory. “I can’t wait to fondle those lovely undies.”
Much like the legendary Green Jacket worn by Masters champions, the lesser known, but equally prized Pink Panties are bestowed in a post tournament ceremony.
“Try these puppies on for size.” said last year’s champion and fellow Northern Ireland native, Graeme McDowell.
“I’ve yet to get a grip on all these historic customs,” added McIllory. “But I’m ready to learn.”
McDowell assisted McIllroy with slipping Annika Sörenstam’s panties over his golf slacks in a highly revered and choreographed ritual which includes caddie whipping and the “drinking of the brandy” from (golf legend) Julius Boros’ tournament used protective cup.
The British Open is the next of golf’s four majors, where McIlroy has a shot at the prized Golden Probe.