Greek Protester with Rifle Arm Signed to Minor League Deal with Yankees
ATHENS (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) If any good news has come out of Greece in the past week, it’s that 22 year old protestor Constantinos Paliovromonezos has earned a one way ticket to a sports mecca – far from the crisis that is currently enveloping his homeland.
Paliovromonezos, along with hundreds of fellow Greek citizens had taken to the streets around the Parliament Building in Athens at Syntagma Square to voice their displeasure with the Greek government’s austerity measures – and the virtual “selling out” of Greece to bail the Balkan nation out of bankruptcy. The graduate student got caught up in the frenzy of angry, young workers who hurled rocks at police. Fortunately for him, Vince Lynam, a scout for the New York Yankees was on vacation staying at the Grande Bretagne Hotel which faces the square.
“I was enjoying my usual morning breakfast of strained Greek yogurt with honey, figs, and black coffee when I peered out over my balcony,” said Lynam. “Through the smoke and flames, I could see a solitary figure – lean and tall – throwing chunks of concrete and makeshift petrol bombs with eye-popping velocity and dead on accuracy. I mean, this kid was dealing. I told (my wife) Gloria to order more figs, and if that if I wasn’t back in ten minutes to call (Yankees manager) Joe Girardi.”
Fortunately for Lynam and Paliovromonezos, both made it back safely to the hotel room.
“I saw a baseball game once on TV,” said Paliovromonezos, slightly bruised and unkempt. “Now, I’m on the fast track to becoming a New York Yankee.”
Lynam, who always travels with a radar gun, clocked the law student’s toss of a three pound jagged hunk of concrete at 87 miles per hour.
“It smashed into a kiosk and obliterated the top shelf of ION® chocolate bars,” added Lynam. “When I saw that, I did some quick calculations and determined that he could probably top out throwing a baseball at 102 or 103. That’s some serious cheese. Actually, Feta is some serious cheese, but why mince words.”
Paliovromonezos will report to the Yankees instructional team in Florida to begin working out.
“His speed and accuracy are already there,” said Lynam. “He just needs to learn a little situational pitching, and I see him with the big club by September, 2012, just in time for Greek Heritage night at the ballpark.”