Full Tilt of NFL Action to Open Week One; Several Wives Inexplicably Vanish
SAN FRANCISCO (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Week One of the 2016 NFL season is under way. San Francisco 49ers fan, George Lamb and his friends are primed to enjoy a party replete with beer, wings, sausage and pizza for tonight’s Monday match up with the LA Rams. Lamb is trying to avoid what happened last year. Things seemed as normal as can be, but at the start of the second quarter on that opening night, George couldn’t find his wife of 8 years, Lisa.
“It was really freekin’ bizarre,” said Lamb. “I think she was around when we started poppin’ open the Miller Lites. Then I asked her if she could bring in some bar-b-q sauce from the kitchen, and nothing happened.”
Lisa Lamb hasn’t been seen or heard from since.
All of George Lamb’s friends confirmed their wives have also disappeared without a trace. Police are investigating the possibility that it could be a case of “football widowism.”
“It’s not completely uncommon to find wives huddled together watching We TV and fussing over quiche,” said detective, Matt Burroughs. “Like migrating birds, they ususally return after the season. But she’s been missing since last year.”
“I’m sure Lisa’s OK,” Lamb added. “I can get my own bar-b-q sauce. Go Niners!”