A TSD Classique: Women’s Volleyball Player “Got All Exorcist-like” at Halloween Party
LOWER GWYNEDD TOWNSHIP, PA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Carly Rosetti, a 20 year old spiker on the Gwynedd-Mercy College women’s volleyball team, joined her teammates on Tuesday night for a Halloween party thrown by the team’s coaches. Approximately forty-five minutes into the party, it was quite apparent something sinister was afoot.
“The ladies were enjoying themselves.” said assistant coach Louise Brickell. “Then suddenly Carly began speaking in a guttural Latin tongue, started convulsing, and eventually projectile vomited what appeared to be the partially digested remains of Larry Parkanski, the men’s wrestling coach.”
Witnesses claim their teammate was possessed.
“She got all Exorcist-like.” said team member, Carol Flannery, 19, of nearby Philadelphia, referring to the 1973 classic horror film in which a young girl is possessed by the devil. “Her head did a 180, then she started making derogatory remarks about the Irish. She’s either possessed by the demon Pazuzu, or someone spiked the punch with Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill® wine or a biosynthesized Phenylethylamine derivative. Hopefully she’ll be alright for our next practice.”