Sportsman’s Daily Still Hoping to One Day Write Article on North Dakota Sports

 

 

 

So Fargo Away. Doesn’t anybody satire in this place anymore?

 

 

FARGO, NORTH DAKOTA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) In the long and storied existence of the Sportsman’s Daily, there has never been a time when the editorial staff has found the need to write a story centering on North Dakota sports. Some staffers hope that will change.

TSD’s Fargo office, a small shack near a railroad track with a lamp, a rotary phone, an Underwood® manual typewriter, and an AM radio, was closed in 1994 after the mysterious disappearance of correspondent Buford Wells. Wells had claimed he had unearthed a satirical story on a semi-pro baseball team in Fargo that could shake the then fledgling sports satire world to it’s core.

He was never heard from again.

“I remember being rousted from a deep sleep.” said TSD’s Executive Editor, Tom Alexander. “I had just been named the 39th Executive Editor in the publication’s history, and was eager to make my mark. It must have been 4:00 in the morning when the phone rang. That’s when Buford called and said he had something hilarious from North Dakota. I immediately sprung from my bed to look at a map and see exactly where the fuck North Dakota was. I rushed back to the phone and Buford was no longer on the line.”

After an exhaustive investigation, Wells was officially declared dead in 2006.

“Nothing funny ever happens here, at least not in sports.” said Bonnie Wells Bryan, Buford Wells’ sister. “But I’m still holding out hope that someday it will.”

TSD is hoping something funny will also happen in Nebraska.

Comments are closed.