Popular Deity Christ Still Hoping to Attend Live Game Featuring Tim Tebow
MINNEAPOLIS (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) According to Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow, the eleventh hour heroics which have propelled his team to some improbable wins this season have been commandeered by Christian deity Jesus Christ.
“It’s really Jesus at the wheel, or in the case, under center.” a smiling Tebow said after the Broncos once again staged some late drama to defeat the Minnesota Vikings 35-32. “He’s kind of doing things remotely. Fortunately, we’re both signed up with Verizon®.”
Christ still hopes to attend a Broncos game this year.
“Even though I can be more than one place at a time, my bandwidth is a little short these days what with the financial crisis that President Obama inherited from George Bush.” He said. “Plus, half of the NFL prays to me. I don’t want to play favorites. I don’t have a rooting interest, but would still like to see one of his games live. I know Tim’s as high as a kite these days, but the truth is, he’s just been extraordinarily lucky.”
“What?!!” a shocked Tebow exclaimed. “Luck? I’ve done all this with luck? If that’s the case it means I have a limited skill set, can’t read defenses, and throw like a school girl.”
“Yep” added Christ. “That’s pretty much the deal Tim.”