A TSD Classique: UFC’s Chuck “The Iceman” Liddell Rips Off Opponent’s Head and Dines on Torso
Investigation Pending Immediately After Regurgitation
PHILADELPHIA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) –Ultimate Fighting Championship superstar Chuck “The Iceman” Liddell whose unorthodox fighting style has thrilled thousands of UFC fans might have crossed the line in his latest bout. At Philadelphia’s legendary Spectrum, a scheduled three rounder against Spiros Kostayannis went horribly wrong. Kostayannis, a Greek Cypriot who dreamed of competing in his first fight in the United States will apparently dream no more as he died almost instantly as Liddell’s controversial move three minutes and eight seconds into the second round left the twenty-nine year old challenger headless. The capacity crowd could only watch in horror as Liddell immediately gorged himself on Kostayannis’ torso in a bizarre ritualistic feeding frenzy.
“I love Iceman’s style,” said Rodney Policare of South Philadelphia. “But this was some sick ass shit bro. It almost made me puke up my meatball hoagie. But the Greek dude knew it’s all part of the sport. The league has a hell of an insurance plan, so everything’s cool.”
This is the first time Liddell has torn a head off an opponent. However a similar incident occurred last year in Thailand when Pongrit Chaisurivirat tore the balls off of Jimmy “The Sack” Slavish in the first minute of a scheduled five round championship tilt. Still, it is this most recent incident that will almost undoubtedly force the UFC to once again consider reforming a sport critics call barbaric. The league says it will conduct an investigation once Liddell regurgitates Kostayannis’ torso or passes it during his next bowel movement.
“Yeah, I kind of feel bad about it,” the thirty-seven year old Liddell said. “I think he was supposed to get married next week, so, you know, my apologies and all to his fiancée. Was she hot or what?”