Injury Update: God Took Rib from Tebow to Make 4th Round Draft Pick
DENVER (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) That torn rib cartilage Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow played with in the AFC Divisional playoff game last Saturday is apparently a lot worse than originally believed. Evidently, God took Tebow’s rib, a stunt He’s pulled at least once, and made a future draft pick consideration.
“I apologize to Bronco’s fans if my timing was a little off.” the supernatural creator of the universe said. “But I have a job to do. In this case it was taking a rib from Mr. Tebow and creating Colin Appleby, who will be a fourth round pick in the 2034 NFL Draft. He’ll be selected by the Norfolk Gulls who will join the league in the 2029 expansion along with the Bismark Hermits.”
Though in a fair amount of pain, Tebow was happy to give up a rib.
“He’s God. And as we all know He works in mysterious ways.” said Tebow. “And although I’m writhing around in excruciating pain and suffering through sleepless nights, if it’ll help the Norfolk Gulls in 2034, who am I to argue?”
In a related story, Carl and Lois Appleby, who unsuccessfully tried having a baby for two years, woke up to find the newborn Colin in their home with a note attached to his wrist saying, “He’s yours. Now don’t screw it up.”