Shaving Mishap Sidelines Eli Manning; Questionable for Super Bowl

Manning Up? Eli Manning will have to man up. Here he is seconds after shaving went askew.

INDIANAPOLIS (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Teammates were concerned when New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning switched from a razor to an electric shaver last week, claiming he won’t get as close a shave and problems have been known to occur.

“I told him.” said defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul. “You get two or three day’s growth caught up in those rotating blades and the shit can hit the fan.”

Manning’s right cheek whiskers got caught in the Philips Norelco® AT810 Powertouch with Aquatec Technology, then eventually his entire face succumbed to the floating heads resulting in a cranial explosion.

“We’ve seen this before.” said team doctor, Russell F. Warren MD. “We’re hoping Eli can bounce back in time for Sunday.”

The incident has been the talk of radio row, where sportscasters from across the country congregate one week before the big game. Miami-based sports talk host Sid Rosenberg, himself a Giants fan, claims he visited Manning at the hospital.

“He’s looked better.” said Rosenberg. “But if anyone can come back from this, he can. The kid’s got balls. Thank God he wasn’t shaving his pubes.”

 

 

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