Cole Hamels Early Favorite for Biped of the Year; Kangaroo, Ostrich Also in Running


Roos or Ruse? Cole Hamels isn’t quite sure.

PHILADELPHIA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Known as one of the top left handers in the game, pitcher Cole Hamels is one of the few bright spots in an otherwise forgettable 2014 Philadelphia Phillies season. With a solid statistical season nearly behind him, Hamels is the odds on favorite to win Biped of the Year. The award has been handed out each year by the Bipedalism Enthusiasts of North America (BENA) since 2003. Past winners include Dirk Nowitzki, Phil Mickelson, and a chicken. “It’s early, but Cole’s overdue.” said BENA spokesperson, Laverne Harris. “He walks erect with remarkable aplomb. Not since Blinky, the kangaroo from the St. Louis Zoo, have I seen such upright self-propulsion while playing to the cameras.” Blinky, who won the award in 2005 and 2006, is again in the running for the 2014 Award. Bipedalism, terrestrial locomotion associated with a creature or machine containing two feet, is rare in the animal kingdom, and among some humans in the Cleveland area. Hamels is mystified by the attention. “First of all, bipeds creep me out a little, even though technically I am one I guess.” the 2008 World Series MVP quipped. “I’m honored that BENA knows who I am and junk, but  I’d rather not be lumped in with Blinky and Dennis, the ostrich from Lion Country Safari®.” The BENA Award will be issued Saturday, November 15, 2014 at Peggy’s Tavern in Broomall, Pennsylvania.

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