LeBron James Announces He’ll Have Vasectomy Performed on Live TV
MIAMI (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) In his unquenchable thirst for attention, LeBron James announced he’ll have a vasectomy performed on live television sometime next month.
James claims all the accolades currently being bestowed on New York Knicks point guard Jeremy Lin have proved frustrating for him.
“I’ve had the TV cameras focused on me since high school, and now comes all the Linsanity, and quite frankly, it sucks.” bemoaned the 6’8” Miami Heat forward. “So I want to give the fans something big to chew on, like a vasectomy. This bitch is gonna be bigger than “The Decision.”
The Decision of course was James’ press conference announcing he’d be taking his talents to South Beach and the Miami Heat.
The vasectomy will be performed by Dr. Howard Saks at mid court in American Airlines Arena on a date to be announced next week. Both NBC Sports and ESPN will air the procedure live. ESPN is calling the program The Snip.
“I can guarantee you, only ESPN can give you the kind of “in the crotch” coverage you’d expect.” the all-sports network president George Bodenheimer boasted. “We’ll utilize the latest technology to make The Snip to most anguishing, cringe inducing moment in the history of sports television.”