Lions Select Nickelback in NFL Draft
DETROIT (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The Detroit Lions have certainly improved over the past couple of seasons, which has a catch 22 effect, their selection position in the 2012 NFL Draft.
“We wanted to something to send a ripple effect throughout the entire league,” said Lions General Manager Martin Mayhew. “Granted, it’s a bit unorthodox, but people will remember us for this. Personally, I think it will define my legacy.”
With the 23rd pick in the draft, the Lions selected Canadian rock group, Nickelback.
“It’s a position we desperately seek, and it’s a four for one deal,” said Detroit’s Head Coach Jim Schwartz. “Admittedly, none of these guys have played professional football before and they’re all in their mid to late thirties, but at the very least if they stack their walls of Marshall guitar amps in just the right place, they can cause some temporary although extremely painful ear discomfort to the opposition. Especially if they play anything off their All the Right Reasons CD – which I personally found derivative and lacking in any social conscience. So I guess that’s something.”
“How do I feel?” said the group’s lead vocalist and co-lead guitarist Chad Kroeger. “Scared shitless. I mean, I’m in decent enough shape and all, but trying to defend against the pass on third and long, I’m gonna get exposed.”
Another upside to the selection is the Lions will be the first team in NFL history to have a built in halftime entertainment program, barring serious injuries.