Amar’e Stoudemire Planned to Put Severed Hand For Sale on Ebay
NEW YORK (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Once the grizzly circumstances surrounding Amar’e Stoudemire’s dangling hand came to light, the New York Knicks superstar said if the hand couldn’t be saved he was prepared to auction it off on eBay®.
“It’s a perfectly good hand, suitable for framing or a lovely coffee table conversation piece. As you can see, I had a contingency plan if I was going to lose the hand. I figured why not make a buck. The upshot is I can still play some one handed piano pieces.”
The Knicks are down 0-3 in the playoffs to the heavily favored Miami Heat. After game two, an enraged Stoudemire smashed the glass door containing a fire extinguisher and severely injured his hand which required several stitches.
“Damn thing looked like pastrami coming out of the slicer at Katz’s Deli®.” said teammate Baron Davis. “Truth is, I was kinda hungry at the time, and it looked good. I like my pastrami rare and all drippy and shit.”
Stoudemire claimed his opening bid would have been $49.96, adding, “I appreciate our challenged economy and didn’t want to be a chazer.”