Knicks Still Alive But Large, Ominous Cyst Appears in Locker Room
NEW YORK (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The New York Knicks rode a 41 point performance by Carmelo Anthony, staving off elimination and defeating the heavily favored Miami Heat on Sunday, pushing the series to a Game 5.
“We’re still alive!” said point guard Baron Davis.
Davis’ enthusiasm was quickly quelled when a large, grey, spongey mass rolled into the locker room seconds after the victory interfering with reporters questions, and players toweling off. The near 12 meter object was reported to give off the faint whiff of despair.
“I’ve seen this before.” said Assistant Traveling Secretary, Brent Goldman. “We believe it’s a cyst, a clubhouse cancer if you will, an amalgam of hurt feelings, bitterness, shattered dreams, contract disputes, and poor shotmaking decisions. Eventually the body reacts, and that’s what we have here. Amar’e Stoudemire confused the cyst for team owner, James Dolan.”