Medicated Douche Product Wins Naming Rights to Ozzie Guillen
MIAMI (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) VH Essentials®, makers of a medicated douche concentrate, have announced they have won the naming rights to Miami Marlins manager, Ozzie Guillen, beating out Quilted Northern® toilet paper and Vagi Cure® Anti Itch Cream.
The controversial Guillen, known for speaking his mind, has had a long history of putting his foot in his mouth often causing problems for his employers. Most recently, his favorable spin on Cuban dictator, Fidel Castro earned the wrath of South Florida’s large Cuban community. And just this week when a Houston based reporter asked about it, he responded with a Scarface like retort.
VH Essentials is breaking new ground by endorsing a baseball manager.
“This is a first.” said VH Essentials spokeswoman, Erin Fredericks. “When it comes to douching, the first Major League skipper that comes to mind is Ozzie. The dude personifies douche bag.”
Guillen says he’s proud to currently be known as VH Essentials Douche Ozzie Guillen.
“My kids call me douche bag around the house now, and it fits.” said the 48 year old manager. “I’m gonna wear this motherfucker around like a badge man. I am one glorious motherfuckin’ douche bag. Now, excuse me while I go all Stalin on my bullpen.”