Poker Player with Interminable Poker Face Dead After All
LAS VEGAS (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Jethro “Dead Eye” Salinger lived up to his nickname on Monday night when opponents couldn’t get him to ante up.
“He just sort of stayed there, staring straight ahead, motionless,” said Jimmy “The Lion” Nicosia. “We thought it was just another element of his world renowned gamesmanship, but it went on too long, even for him. That’s when we realized he was dead.”
The players at the Las Vegas Tournament of Poker Wizards 8 waited an unprecedented seven hours and twenty-three minutes before finally checking for a pulse.
“He was deader than a doornail,” said dealer Steve Carson. “But he went out doing what he loves. We should all be so lucky. He lost a hell of a lot that night, but I guess he’s paid in full, in a manner of speaking.”
Salinger was taken out of the casino on a stretcher with his hands still holding his cards.
“He was a player to the last breath I guess,” added Nicosia. “The sight of him holding his cards up like that as they removed his carcass from the facility was an inspiration to us all. Except of course for the losing part. If I die at the table, I want to go out a winner and take it with me.”
The casino plans to dim the lights in Jethro Salinger’s honor and his body will have the customary desert roadside burial left in an abandoned Lincoln Continental.