After Big Win Allen Iverson Awkwardly Lingers Around Sixers’ Showers
PHILADELPHIA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Former Philadelphia 76ers superstar Allen Iverson returned to South Philly Wednesday night to serve as a motivating force for players and fans alike. It worked. The Sixers managed to force the heavily favored Boston Celtics to a Game 7 in Boston. Whether they can parlay the win to making the Eastern Conference Finals remains to be seen.
Although the celebratory atmosphere quickly spilled from the floor into the locker room, the mood soon changed when Iverson refused to leave.
“His silent, lingering glares as players were showering made for an awkward, uncomfortable post game experience.” said Sixers Head Coach Doug Collins. “I understand how much he misses the game and still wishes he was playing, but gawking at Lavoy Allen’s junk isn’t the way of expressing it.”
Former Iverson teammate Andre Iguodala concurred.
“We all know and appreciate what Allen’s done in this city, and if we had a time machine that could go back ten years we’d do it. But this is kind of pathetic.” said Iguodala, who hit two clutch free throws late in the fourth quarter. “He had his time. Start living for today. Granted, today for him is an interminable hell hole of pain, suffering and profound boredom with mortality staring back at him through a cracked mirror, but still, get out my face. And stop looking at my ass.”
Should the Sixers advance, they plan on bringing back other former players for inspiration including former forward and head coach, Billy Cunningham, who enjoys long walks and cleaning his loaded pistols.