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Fourteen Year Old Unearths Father’s Dice-Activated Baseball Game in Attic; Now Friends Won’t Leave House

He’s Been Plugged? HBP actually means Hit by Pitch in traditional and dice-activated baseball lingo.

SHAVERTOWN, PA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Living in his 2.0 digital world and surrounded by his assortment of video games, fourteen year old Pedro Kaminski had no reason to rifle through his father’s old toy chest in the attic. But that didn’t stop him.  Pedro discovered a homemade dice activated baseball game created by his father Jose thirty years ago and hasn’t stopped playing it since.

The game was loosely based on the classic APBA and Strat-O-Matic games boys of the 1960’s and 1970’s grew up playing.

The dice. The stat sheets. The trades. The leagues. The competition.

Everything Jose had used as a boy all seemed to be intact. And Pedro soon had all his friends over to get in on the retro fun.

“It was kind of cute for a while,” said Jose. “It brought back some terrific memories like trading Jimmy “Toy Cannon” Wynn over to Buddy Muldoon’s team for Lee May, Joe Rudi and a pitcher to be named later. It was nice seeing the old double fours being rolled for a homer again, but now Pedro’s got his friends here all damn day long. I hear the comments. ‘Pedro, your father was around when Vic Davalillo was playing? Wow, he’s old.’  The little fuckers. I’ll show them who’s old.”

But it’s not just the constant interruptions and screams of excitement that are rattling the elder Kaminski’s nerves, it’s the highly complex gambling ring little Pedro has put into place.

“You believe this?” he added. “I went downstairs last Saturday night to grab a Genesee Cream Ale from the fridge and Pedro’s got a whole syndicate running down there complete with big-titted hotties selling booze and cigars and secret knocks at the back door and betting slips and unauthorized trades. Stupid trades. I sure as shit wouldn’t have dealt Al Oliver and Roger Metzger to Billy Kerdesky’s team for Charlie Spikes in 1978, and I wouldn’t do it now.”

The games have apparently gone on into the early hours of the morning despite Jose Kaminski’s insistence they end by 10:00 PM.

“I can’t believe what’s happening to my son,” said Kaminski. “He actually sicked a couple of knuckle-dragging thugs on me and had me thrown out into the street. It’s gotten way out of hand.”

But the boys can’t seem to get enough of the odd fusion of 21st Century technology with retro simplicity and innocence.

“Yep,” said Pedro Kaminski. “There’s nothing like playing some Kansas on your iPod while rolling the dice and seeing Rusty Torres slice a double down the line for a walk off. My dad said he was the only woman who ever played in the Majors. Got a sex change in ’75.”

“That’s a lie,” said Jose Kaminski. “I never said that! Damn kids!”

 

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