PARADE UPDATE: Evil Clown Puts Damper on Miami Heat Celebration
MIAMI (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) As the Miami Heat put an exclamation point on their championship season with a parade through downtown today, Mr. Giggles, the out of work, evil clown has thrown a wrench in the works.
“I’ll give them a celebration they’ll not soon forget!” chimed the 54 year old unemployed circus performer who initially appeared as a harmless float accoutrement waving to fans alongside Heat players James Jones and Mike Miller. Things suddenly took at turn for the worst at approximately 11:13 AM.
Giggles (AKA, Nathan Gordon Castle) ingested bath salts and began eating the faces off of several float operators.
“The blood and flesh flowed freely as terrified fans amidst a bed of discarded cotton candy and popcorn tried to fathom the senseless horror.” said city worker, Nelson Diaz.
Giggles then climbed halfway up an apartment complex with a megaphone and began hypothesizing next season’s roster moves, a deliberate and inappropriate act designed to undermine the enthusiasm of the crowd.
“Giggles can suck my dick.” said 24 year old, Carlos Castro. “We’re gonna defend this mofo next season, despite his ersatz misgivings intended to incite a riot. I wasn’t born yesterday.”
Giggles has yet to be apprehended.
Tags: Miami Heat