Geeky ESPN Graphics Whiz Admits to Green Screening Erin Andrews into His Bedroom
BRISTOL, CT. (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) — Melvin Frisbee has been the man behind many of ESPN’s more impressive digital graphics effects for the past three years. But on Sunday Frisbee admitted to his bosses there was something he could no longer keep secret.
The twenty-seven year old CGI whiz has been green-screening ESPN sports reporter Erin Andrews into his bedroom since August, 2009. Green-screening, a longtime television visual effect, allows the subject in front of a camera to appear to be anywhere – depending on the background that is chosen.
“I have found a way to visually manipulate images of Ms. Andrews I shot in-studio in front of a green screen,” said Frisbee. “I’m then able to place her image on my waterbed sprawled out right next to me. I generally adjust the hues and turn her skin tone to a lovely shade of forest green like the alien woman who danced for Captain Christopher Pike in the Star Trek episode, The Menagerie – which to me is as sexy as fuck.”
“To be honest, we’re not sure if any laws are being broken,” said attorney William Greer, representing ESPN. “However, the company has temporarily placed Mr. Frisbee on two weeks probation and confiscated his replica tricorder and phaser until this can all be sorted out.”
Andrews, who has several online fan clubs, has dealt with ogling co-workers before, but doesn’t recall anyone going to the lengths Frisbee has.
“Are you kidding me?” said Andrews. “One look at this guy and you can see he’s an obsessive-compulsive, sci-fi loving, twisted, perverted douche bag. Look, I understand that he, as well as 64% of the men in America consider me incredibly hot and would give their right nut just for a simple reach around – But I have a reputation to uphold. I can’t be outfitted in some digitally rendered silky lingerie and stiletto pumps and then be green screened onto a waterbed just so this freak can pleasure himself to the point of running a batch all over his Mr. Sulu embossed satin sheets. Of course I mean that with all due respect.”