Sportsman’s Daily 4th of July Party Gets Off to Rocky Start When Intern Blows Up BBQ Gas Tank
BOCA RATON (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The office staff at the Sportsman’s Daily, the world leader on sports satire written while intoxicated, began their Independence Day celebration early with a pancake breakfast. Staff members began filtering through the door around 7:30 AM to the pleasant aroma of bacon sizzling, coffee brewing and veteran anchor, Chet Lassiter unpacking his stash of gin.
At approximately 11:14AM, staffer Abigail Cooter asked 18 year old intern Hunter Riley to light the bar-b-q grill near the southwest corner of the building. Unfortunately for him, Riley sparked up a fatty (marijuana cigarette) before attempting to light the gas tank on the grill. Riley left the valve open too long releasing copious amounts of gas, then lit his match. The explosion was felt on the second floor of TSD’s palatial office complex.
“Holy fuck! What the hell was that?” asked TSD Human Resources Director, Beverly Wynn.
The charred remains of Riley were dragged across the parking lot and placed in a dumpster as staffers, Dick Kefi and Spiro Pappas made an emergency run to Home Depot® for a new grill.
Riley had no family.
From all of us The Sportsman’s Daily, have a safe and happy 4th of July!