Area Man Stunned to Learn Olympic Sausage Eating Event Was Hoax
Punked a Burnin' Love. Rich Solinski's buddies punked him big time.
LONDON (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Rich Solinski, of Courtdale, Pennsylvania told his family that their Summer vacation wouldn’t be happening this year, because he was using the vacation fund to go to the Olympics in London. Solinski said his friends, Carl Rescavage and Tony Muscato encouraged him to train for the Olympic Sausage Eating Finals.
Solinski spent two months downing Kielbasas, as well as Italian mild and hot sausages at a torrid pace.
“I was ingesting them things whole.” said Solinski, 53, a fork lift operator. “Some might say I had it down to a science, but my pastor said science is the devil’s work. Either way, I was pretty good at it and stuff. Then I showed up in London. That’s when Carl and Tony had their big laugh.”
Solinski was apprehended almost immediately after arriving at IOC headquarters demanding to know where his room was.
“Apparently they deemed me an ‘unfriendly‘ and took me in for questioning.” Solinski added. “Once they realized I wasn’t no danger, they sent me back to Courtdale. I have to admit, riding in cargo ain’t bad. Pretty animals in there. The only shitty part is now we don’t get to go on our vacation cuz I used up the money. Oh well, Six Flags Over West Virginia will have to wait’ll next year.”