Family Man Not Seen by Wife and Kids Since Football Season Began

Missing From Man Cave. Jerry Larson no longer in basement frightens family.

ROCKVILLE, MD. (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Jerry Larson, 49, is a respected man in his community. He owns a tool supply company, coaches Little League, plays drums in a wedding band, and worships the Washington Redskins. However, since early September when the season opened, Larson hasn’t been seen by anyone including his family.

Initially, his wife Martha, 46, wasn’t concerned. However, after repeated, unanswered calls for dinner, she became suspicious. 

“Normally Jerry comes running for my pulled pork sandwiches.” Martha Larson said. “When there was no response, I went down to the man cave and he was gone. I phoned his brother, his best friend and his mom. No one has seen or heard from him.”

Yesterday however, friend Mark Pushinsky claims Jerry Larson had gone underground to watch the entire 2013 football season undisturbed and unencumbered.

“I think he’s growing a beard, is unbathed, and taken on another identity. Just like 98% of American men do this time of year.” Pushinsky said. “I suspect, he’ll suddenly reemerge around February 3rd of next year, all rearin’ and ready to go.”

Other instances of husbands suddenly missing have been reported in Fort Worth, Texas, Netcong, New Jersey and Parma, Ohio.


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